


the long nights

by sofarsoperfect



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Camboy, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sex Worker, Collars, Elements of Chatfic, Fingering, For funsies, Gratuitous Smut, Hand Jobs, Harnesses, Implied Oral Sex, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Secrets, Sex Toys, Softcore Bondage, Softcore Porn, four out of nine of these members are camboys, if I list every kind of sex toy in this fic, just know what you're getting into here, we'll be here all day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 05:37:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofarsoperfect/pseuds/sofarsoperfect
Summary: “If you really want to sleep here tonight, you can, Felix. Invite Jisung, we can commiserate together.”“You won’t commiserate, you’re not a camboy,” Hyunjin reminded him.“I am in spirit,” Seungmin insisted.“Not even close,” Felix stopped him.





	the long nights

**Author's Note:**

> big thank you to [sarahatthecrisco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahatthecrisco) for editing and being my beta
> 
> you are now entering the moderated comment zone

**the_prince:** @memelix do you have my plug

 **memelix:** you need to be more specific

 **the_prince:** the purple one with the circle handle

 **memelix:** no

 **j.one:** don’t ask me either

 **the_prince:** fuck

 **the_prince:** i can’t find it anywhere

 **savagemin:** i really hate that you guys have these conversations in this chat

 **j.one:** did you want us to make a separate chat for these conversations

 **savagemin:** that would please me greatly

 **the_prince:** don’t expect that to happen any time soon

 **savagemin:** alright putting that aside for the moment

 **savagemin:** how do you lose a buttplug

 **memelix:** you’d be surprised

 **memelix:** it’s not actually that hard to do

 **savagemin:** just put them all in the same place every time you use them

 **savagemin:** what’s hard about that?

 **j.one:** you know jinnie is forgetful

 **the_prince:** this is coming from you???

 **j.one:** rude

 **memelix:** but not wrong

 **savagemin:** does the loss of this plug mean i don’t have to come over to help with this shoot

 **the_prince:** absolutely not i need your help

 **savagemin:** well i’m bringing jeongin

 **j.one:** NO

 **memelix:** NOT THE BABY

 **savagemin:** he’s 18, not 8

 **the_prince:** also he’s an audio god

 **j.one:** alright well you got me there

 **memelix:** tru

 **j.one:** speaking of audio, i need help with one of my mics i’m getting a weird feedback when i shoot

 **savagemin:** i’ll take a look at them when i come over next, bring jeongin for help

 **memelix:** jeongin knows what he’s walking into, right?

 **savagemin:** no i’m bringing him over to our dorm and surprising him with a naked hyunjin

 **savagemin:** thought it’d be a fun prank

 **memelix:** the sass was unnecessary

 **the_prince:** you are in the wrong chat if you’re not looking for sass

 **the_prince:** can we get back to my problem

 **savagemin:** just use a different one

 **j.one:** oh seungmin

 **memelix:** you don’t get it

 **savagemin:** i don’t want to get it

 **the_prince:** to make a long story short: when you decide to make a video, you make a theme for that video

 **savagemin:** i follow so far

 **j.one:** a lot of the time you make a theme surrounding a certain kind of object

 **savagemin:** a sex toy. you can say it. we’re all adults here.

 **memelix:** so it really fucking sucks and kind of ruins the video when you can’t find it

 **the_prince:** so now i don’t know what to do

 **memelix:** if you’re really in a bind, i have one you can borrow

 **memelix:** depending on what you need

 **the_prince:** something purple

 **savagemin:** the specificity comes down to “something purple”

 **savagemin:** you’re right this is an art form i truly don’t fully understand

 **j.one:** when we started doing this, you said you would support us seungmin

 **savagemin:** i do!

 **savagemin:** but i’m not gonna pretend i understand

 **memelix:** i have a purple vibrating one if that’ll work, i can drop it off before my last lecture

 **the_prince:** THANK YOU!!!

 **savagemin:** so the shoot’s at 4.30

 **the_prince:** 4.45 be there or be square

 **savagemin:** i’ll tell jeongin. we better be done by six, i told him i’d have him home for dinner.

 

“Hey, hyung,” Jeongin greeted Felix. Felix nodded at him, walking into the dorm. Seungmin was adjusting the tripod for the camera while Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. Felix huffed a sigh, Seungmin looking over at him.

“The bathroom. Just drop it on the bed, I’m sure he’ll notice when he gets out,” Seungmin assured him. Felix shrugged and pulled the case out of his bag, tossing it on the bed. He looked over to see Jeongin already having moved to adjust the mics in the room. He walked over, resting a hand on his arm. Jeongin smiled at him.

“You’re okay with this, right?” Felix asked.

“I’m an adult, hyung, I think I can handle it,” Jeongin told him. “If it gets weird, I can always hide behind my mic set up anyway,” Jeongin insisted. Felix snorted. “I’ll be fine, thanks. You’re gonna be late to your lecture, you should go.”

“Yeah, yeah, see you guys,” Felix said. Seungmin waved a hand, tilting the camera into the right angle at the bed. Felix knocked on the bathroom door on his way. “Have a good shoot, Jinnie. Don’t do anything too depraved while Jeongin is in the room.”

“Go to your lecture!” Hyunjin shouted through the door. “But also thank you and I love you!” He added, making Felix laugh. He left the room, shutting the door softly behind himself. Shifting his messenger bag comfortably around his shoulders, he headed to his lecture.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Woojin said, bumping into him on his walk. Felix laughed, bumping his shoulder purposefully into his friend’s shoulder. “Excited about the last lecture of the year?” Woojin asked. Felix shrugged a shoulder.

Woojin was both a friend as well as the T.A. in Felix’s History of Modern Dance lectures. He had been a great friend and tutor when Felix started struggling in the class. There was a time where Felix’s anxiety caught up with him at the beginning of his second semester and he thought he was never gonna pull his grades back up. Woojin was a huge help and excellent support system when Felix needed to bring his grade up in class. He was sporting a solid B now and that was good enough for Felix. Woojin was still badgering him about the exam possibly giving him an A but Felix wasn’t too worried about it.

“Excited to be done with it,” Felix admitted.

“You won’t miss me?” Woojin pouted at him. Felix snorted, shoving him away from him. Woojin stumbled over a step with a laugh before falling back in step with him. “You’ll miss me, I know you will. Don’t lie.” 

“I won’t miss being nagged at,” Felix replied. “But yeah, I guess I’ll miss you a little bit,” Felix agreed, pretending to be indifferent about it. Woojin rolled his eyes at

“I’m always gonna nag you about your grades, Felix. That’s what makes me a good friend,” Woojin informed him. Felix scoffed, the two of them walking into the Arts Hall. “Next week will be the exam and then you’re gonna be without me for almost a whole four months! How will you go on?” Woojin insisted, dramatically, making Felix

“I dunno, hyung, I just don’t know. I may just wither away without your wise and unparalleled guidance,” Felix replied, sounding wistful.

“I just hope you can get to the airport without me,” Woojin told

“Hey!”

 

Felix let himself into the dorm, stopping short when he saw Changbin and Chan already in the room. All three of them looked at him with wide eyes where they were sitting on Jisung’s bed. Felix waved a hand with furrowed brows as he crossed the room, tossing his bag on his bed before going for the counter where Jisung had set up his coffee pot.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” Felix said, waving his hand

“Actually, I’m glad you’re here!” Changbin burst out. “Jisung won’t listen to us and it helps to have another sane person in the room with us,” Changbin said. Felix poured himself a cup of coffee and then leaned over to retrieve the milk from the mini fridge. “Jisung just told us something crazy,” Changbin insisted.

“Don’t get Felix involved!” Jisung said, swatting at Changbin. Changbin dodged his swat but when he rolled out of the way, he rolled too far and fell off the bed. Chan snorted, Felix dropping a straw into his cold coffee with an eye roll. “It’s really not important, you should go,” Jisung told him, his voice a little higher than normal.

“Go where? I live here,” Felix commented, taking a sip of his drink. “What’s up?” He asked, setting his drink to the side and jumping up to sit on the counter.

“Changbin’s having a heart attack about what Jisung does to make money,” Chan told him. He sounded much more calm than Changbin did but even so, Felix’s eyes widened a little, Jisung shaking his head vehemently from behind Chan while Changbin was still struggling to get up. “Jisung just told us he’s a-" 

“It’s not important what I am!” Jisung interrupted, loudly. “What’s important is that you guys are my friends so I thought I oughta be honest with you, and because you’re my friends you should support me, no matter what. Right, Felix, have my back?” Jisung asked, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Uhh…” Felix said, looking between all of them. Chan stared at him while Jisung still looked mildly panicked. “Yeah,” he decided on, hoping he sounded as nonchalant as he was trying to convey. “Yeah, as long as it’s not like… illegal, what’s it matter?"

“What’s it matter?!” Changbin exclaimed, having finally sat up. “He’s-”

“Making money, taking care of myself!” Jisung insisted, cutting him off. “Right, Felix? That’s all that matters?”

“I- uh… you know how I let Hyunjin borrow that thing today?” Felix said, pointing at Jisung. Jisung nodded frantically. “I should get that back from him. It’s already six, I bet he’s done with it so I’m gonna… go.” Felix jumped off the counter with a decisive nod of his head, Chan lifting a brow at him. “Get the thing,” he added with a vague hand motion. “Yeah,” Felix said. “I’ll be back,” he told them.

“Felix, you didn’t help at all!” Changbin called out to him but Felix had already bolted from the room.

 

 **memelix:** JISUNG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

 **the_prince:** oh no

 **savagemin:** what has jisung done now?

 **j.one:** I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE SO BAD

 **j.one:** THEY’RE BOTH SO OPEN MINDED I DIDN’T THINK THEY’D FREAK OUT LIKE THAT

 **savagemin:** this sounds bad

 **the_prince:** who did you tell?!?

 **memelix:** changbin and chan hyungs

 **savagemin:** oh god

 **the_prince:** NOOOOOOOOOOO

 **j.one:** I FUCKED UP

 

Felix shut the door to Hyunjin and Seungmin’s room with big eyes, his back plastered to the door. Hyunjin and Seungmin both looked up from their phones in surprise. Felix huffed a sigh and walked away from the door, throwing himself face first onto Seungmin’s bed. Seungmin gently pat the back of Felix’s shoulder, Felix groaning deeply into the bed.

“Did he tell them about us?!” Hyunjin asked, his voice pinched and panicked.

“No,” Felix mumbled and then turned over. “I got into the room and Changbin called me a ‘sane person’ so Jisung didn’t tell them about us. I can’t believe he did this. I can’t believe they freaked out so bad!” Felix exclaimed, throwing his hands around. “Can I hide here tonight, I don’t think I can go back to the room and deal with Changbin’s judging.”

“Okay, firstly, stop panicking,” Seungmin told them. Felix looked at him, while Hyunjin pulled his knees up to his chest, sitting at the edge of his bed. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like they said they’re gonna tell anyone, they just… they don’t get it. I didn’t get it,” Seungmin reminded them. Felix nodded, Seungmin resting a hand on Felix’s arm. “They’ll come around, Chan hyung especially, you know what he’s like. Changbin hyung’s kind of weird about stuff so it might take him a little longer but they’ll come around.”

“I guess,” Hyunjin mumbled. “I just don’t want anyone else to know, my parents would kill me.”

“How are you explaining your income then?” Seungmin asked.

“Paid internship,” Hyunjin told him. Seungmin shook his head while Felix nodded. “I still don’t know how I’m gonna film over summer break though,” Hyunjin told them.

“You think that’s why Jisung told them?” Felix wondered aloud. Seungmin looked at him. “Changbin hyung and Jisung are getting an apartment together this summer and when Chan hyung graduates, he’s moving in with them. He’s going back to Australia this summer with me but like… he’s practically already got a job lined up with that studio he’s been interning at this year. Maybe Jisung told them because he didn’t want to lie to them about how he’s going to be making money to pay for rent.”

“You think Changbin hyung’s not gonna move in with him anymore?” Hyunjin asked.

“No,” Seungmin dismissed. Felix looked at him. “Changbin’s freaked out, but they’re practically attached at the hip sometimes. He’s gonna be grumpy but he’s not gonna outright not live with him. He’s not a monster,” Seungmin reminded them. “If you really want to sleep here tonight, you can, Felix. Invite Jisung, we can commiserate together.”

“You won’t commiserate, you’re not a camboy,” Hyunjin reminded him.

“I am in spirit,” Seungmin insisted.

“Not even close,” Felix stopped him.

 

“Changbin hyung won’t talk to me and we move in together in two weeks,” Jisung said, staring at the ceiling on his bed. Felix looked up from where he was cleaning his toys on his bed. “Every time I’m around Chan hyung, he looks at me like I’m a rather confusing puzzle and I don’t know what to do? Do they hate me? Should I have just not said anything?” Jisung asked, still staring at the ceiling.

“No,” Felix replied, Jisung turning his head to look at his roommate with sad puppy eyes. “Oh my God, stop trying to hurt me. Put the puppy eyes away,” Felix said, tossing his clean ones into his box. “You’re a good friend and they love you and they’ll appreciate you were honest with them. And Seungmin is right, which I will never say to his face because I will never hear the end of it if I do, but he is right. They’ll come around.”

“I know,” Jisung sighed. “I just worry they’ll never look at me the same.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Felix asked. Jisung sighed. “You think it over, I’m going over to Hyunjin and Seungmin’s to film my last shoot of the year. And I’m gonna spend the whole time trying not to think about how I’m going to film over the summer.”

“Rest in pieces if your parents find out,” Jisung told him. Felix shuddered exaggeratedly.

“Ya damn right it’s gonna be in pieces if they find out,” Felix muttered. “I’m gonna go masturbate in front of a camera, see ya,” Felix told him. Jisung waved a hand while Felix shoved his box under his bed before picking up his messenger bag, headed for the door, shoving his toy of the day into it.

Opening the door, Felix jumped back upon seeing Chan and Changbin standing there. He glanced behind him and then looked back at them.

“Is Jisung in?” Changbin asked.

“Yeah, he’s… in there. Promise he’s clothed and everything,” Felix told them. Chan pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling. “I’m outta here, so you guys have fun talking it out,” Felix told them. He walked out, slipping between them, headed for the dorm building next door.

When he let himself into the room, Hyunjin was sitting on top of the bed, already made, with his phone while Seungmin adjusted camera and lights around him. Jeongin was nearby with the audio set up, adjusting the levels. Hyunjin looked up when he heard the door, smiling at Felix. Felix waved a hand and then ducked into the bathroom with his bag, pulling out his clothes for the shoot.

Felix didn’t have an on-camera persona like Hyunjin did and he didn’t have a solid aesthetic like Jisung did, he just did whatever he felt like doing. Hyunjin always aimed to be the baby boy of the viewers’ dreams while Jisung’s aesthetic was heavily black and leather centered. He was known to wear a harness once in a while (Hyunjin did too but it was usually for a themed shoot). Felix’s schtick was mainly his voice, and he knew it, so what he was wearing, how he pleasured himself, it didn’t matter as much as how vocal he was about it.

Felix peeled off his clothes, pulling on the millennial pink, lace boy shorts he had packed and the white, oversized sweater. He brought thigh highs but decided to pass it up this time, pulling out his blush instead to brighten up his cheeks and ran his fingers through his platinum hair, the bright blond already starting to fade out. He huffed a sighed, ruffling up his hair before humming to himself and stepping out of the bathroom.

“I know we’ve seen each other film before but you are so fucking pretty, Felix,” Hyunjin told him. Felix rolled his eyes at his friend. “My bed, is yours. The sheets are clean, I promise,” Hyunjin said, climbing off of his bed. Felix climbed up onto it, rummaging around in his bag for his things. “So what’s the plan?” Hyunjin asked.

“I got bored last time so I wanted to spice things up a little bit,” Felix told him. Hyunjin lifted a brow, Felix pulling a ring of soft plastic out of his bag. Hyunjin gasped, reaching over to take it from his hand. Felix giggled while Hyunjin turned it over in his hand, his mouth still dropped open. “I thought it’d be fun, you said your neighbors had their exams at this time so…" 

“You’re naughtier than Jisung, even he hasn’t used a cockring,” Hyunjin said, passing it back over. “When did you even buy that?”

“Like last week. It’s nothing special, it doesn’t vibrate or anything, even though that’s definitely on my list,” Felix told him, making Hyunjin snort. “It’s just a ring, but it’s clear, so I thought it’d go great with my…” Felix pulled out his silver plug with a big, white gem at the end. “Gem plug. We’re not gonna get exciting, but a thought a new item might spice things up.”

“Stop upstaging me, I introduced both of you to this!” Hyunjin insisted.

“You introduced Sungie hyung and Felix hyung to being a camboy?” Jeongin asked, his head whipping up. Hyunjin shrugged a shoulder. “I see why Seungmin calls you a bad influence now.”

“He hasn’t convinced me yet,” Seungmin said, tilting the camera down a bit more to focus on Felix where he was sitting on the bed. “And thank God for that.”

“Like you’d even be a camboy,” Felix told him. “Besides, without you, we’d still be using our fucking laptop cameras for all our videos and that’d just be pathetic,” Felix said, looking directly into the camera. “You made us stars, Seungmin.”

“Ah, but at what cost?”

“Thanks for dragging me into it too,” Jeongin said, his eyes on the levels on his laptop, headphones still on.

“I waited until it was legal,” Seungmin told him, making Jeongin roll his eyes. “We’re ready to roll when you are, Felix,” Seungmin said, lifting his head from the eyepiece. Felix nodded, pushing his bag off the bed and placing the toys up near the end of the bed, out of sight from the camera. “Alright, in three… two… one…” Seungmin pointed to Felix, the camera on record.

Watching Felix change into who he was on camera was like watching a whole different person and Hyunjin sat in the middle of Seungmin’s bed, legs crossed. Seungmin’s eyes were on the miniature screen on the camera while Felix welcomed the viewers back to his channel. Jeongin’s eyes darted between Felix, the mics and the levels.

“This is the last time you guys will see me here, so I thought I’d do something special tonight,” Felix said, biting his lip and reaching for the ring. He lifted it up to the camera, smiling coyly, toying around with it on camera. “I just got it. It’s gonna be fun right? We can see how long I can play with myself until I can’t take it anymore,” Felix told the camera. “I’m excited just thinking about it.”

“But first,” he said, setting it off camera again and leaned back on his elbows. He pulled his sweater up, revealing the boy shorts he was wearing. He was already getting hard, the camera capturing the outline of his cock in the panties. He climbed up on his knees, running his hands over the front of his panties, moaning softly. It wasn’t enough to actually give him any relief but it did feel good and he knew how much everyone liked listening to him moan.

“These are my favorite,” he admitted with a soft voice. “They’re pretty right. The lace feels so good,” he told the camera. He let go of the hem of his sweater. “But my sweater’s in the way,” he pouted and then grabbed the hem of the sweater, pulling it off in one clean pull.

He ran his hand over the bulge in his panties again, moaning softly. Felix gently stroked himself over the front of his panties, tipping his head back as he moaned, making a show out of groping himself. He was already hard, almost achingly so just thinking about getting to fuck himself. It was the best part of this job, that he could relieve his stress so frequently even when he felt like he was going to explode over school work. And shit, he got paid for it.

Felix looked back at the camera, biting his lip and running a hand up from his panties, over his stomach and chest, his neck, moaning as he touched himself.

“I’m already so hard,” Felix breathed. “Gonna touch myself now,” he muttered, tucking his thumbs into the panties. He pulled them down, his cock coming out, hard and wet and pink at the tip. Felix reached down to touch himself, slowly stroking himself while still wearing the panties. He moaned, tipping his head back a little bit. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“But I don’t want to come like this,” Felix told the camera, looking back into it. He reached forward, picking up the ring. “Time to test it, hm?” He teased. He slipped the cockring over the tip, moaning softly at the pressure of it rolling down his hard cock. “Oh, fuck, it feels so tight,” he moaned. “Shit,” he sighed, rolling it right down to the base of his cock, snug against his balls. “Can’t wait to fuck myself while wearing this,” he told the camera.

Tipping over onto his back, he pulled the panties off slowly, his legs stretched up to the ceiling. He pulled them off and parted his legs, showing off his ass to the camera.

“I didn’t prep myself tonight so you guys get to see. Everyone always says they want to see, so… I brought my lube tonight,” Felix said, picking up the lube from where he had tossed it off the bed. He lifted it for the camera to see. “I always say this is my favorite part, and it’s true, it is. Sometimes, I don’t even get to my plug, sometimes I prep myself too good and then I come on my fingers. Maybe I’ll do that sometime,” Felix explained, coating his finger in lube. “Not tonight, though,” Felix said.

Felix didn’t know how long he was at it, prepping himself with his fingers, moaning and wriggling against the sheets. He considered sometimes that some people would think he was shameless, depraved even to be fingering himself open with three of his best friends in the room but he was used to it by now. The first time he did it, it was just him and his laptop camera, then is was him and Hyunjin, him and Hyunjin and Seungmin, Jisung’s even been in the room before and even though he’d never done it in front of Jeongin before, and he even glanced over to see if Jeongin was okay, his face covered by his spread legs, Jeongin didn’t even look fazed. It felt great, he had never prepped himself and it not felt good about it but it was… routine. Normal even at this point.

“Fuck, fuck,” Felix gasped. He sat up on his elbows, pulling his fingers out of himself. He lifted his lube coated hand to stroke his cock, tipping his head back again. “Oh my God, God, it feels so good,” he said, breathlessly. “Look at that,” he said, watching the precum drip from the tip of his cock. “Shit, I’m so hard and I’ve never seen my cock like this before. Oh god, I wanna come.”

“But you want to see me come on my toy, right? That’s what you always want,” Felix said. He climbed up onto his knees, his cock heavy and dark in color between his legs. He reached over, picking up his toy. “If you’ve been to my channel before, you know this is one of my favorites. It’s really wide towards the base,” Felix said, pointing it out. “Stretches me out so good and it’s got this cute little gem at the end,” he said, tapping the base while showing the camera. “Pretty right?”

He turned around and pointed his ass at the camera. He placed the plug against his rim, sighed out a deep breath and pushed it in. He moaned deeply, loudly, he knew it was loud and arched his back. It was one of his wider toys and it did stretch him out when he pushed it in, even if he did prep himself. It felt good though and he dropped his head forward to hang there, pushing the plug halfway in and then pulling out.

He toyed with himself a little bit before pushing all the way in, feeling the end of the toy snug against his ass. He rocked against it, turning back around to face the camera, biting his lip. He knew he had to look disheveled by now, his hair a mess, his face and chest flushed and he sat on his knees, reaching between his legs to pull the toy out a little just to push it back in, rocking back on the sensation.

“Oh, oh god, so good. Feels so good,” he mumbled. “Fuck, it stretches me out just- ah- just right. Oh yeah, I could fuck myself like this for hours,” he told the camera. “You’d like that right, to watch me fuck myself open for you. But I want to come so bad, shit,” Felix said, dropping his opposite hand to his cock.

Felix wasn’t great at stroking himself and fucking himself at the same time yet, but he had learned. Oh, had he learned.

“Feels so good,” he told the camera. “Oh, I wanna come. Wanna come so bad,” he said, curling his fingers around the base. “Guess I should take this off, huh?” Felix said, touching the ring. He took hold of it and gently pulled it up, gasping at the pressure around his cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh fuck. It’s so tight, oh my God, I’m gonna come.”

He pulled the cock ring off, dropping it onto the bed.

“Gonna come, fuck, I’m gonna come,” Felix hissed, fisting his cock. “Oh, fuck, fuck, yes,” he hissed, pushing the plug in one last time, and coming hard. He gasped deeply, throwing his head back as he came, come hitting his stomach, and dribbling down the side of his cock. Felix gasped for breath, twisting the plug a little more, making himself jolt at the overstimulated feeling of it, stroking his cock a couple more times for the camera, letting the come spilled down the sides of his cock and over his fingers.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” Felix said, winking at the camera.

Everything from here was closing the video, being sultry, sometimes Felix even put his fingers in his mouth but he was not interested tonight. He closed out the video and then tipped back onto the bed. He just laid there for an indiscernible amount of time, just breathing through the rush of chemicals in his brain after a particularly hard orgasm when he felt the bed dip and a warm washcloth run over his stomach.

“I love you,” Felix said, finally looking. It was Hyunjin.

“I know you do,” Hyunjin told him. “It was gonna dry and be really fucking disgusting to clean off if I didn’t do anything. How do you feel?” Hyunjin asked.

“Tired,” Felix decided on. “You can totally borrow the cockring if you want, it’s fucking awesome.”

“Have you tried jerking off with it yet?” Hyunjin asked, genuinely curious.

“No. You’re a genius.”  

 

“Oh, you’re still here?” Felix said, coming into the dorm. Changbin and Jisung were lying on the bed, Chan sitting against the end of it with his laptop on his legs. “Sorry I was gone so long, ‘Sung, we went to get dinner after.”

“After what?” Chan asked, looking up at him.

“Cram session. And then Seungmin told us if we didn’t eat, he’d force feed us,” Felix said, feeling a little bad about the lie rolling right off his tongue so easily. “You guys chill?” Felix asked, gently, setting his bag down on the floor on the far side of his bed.

“Yeah, we’re chill,” Jisung replied. “We talked a lot.”

“You knew, huh?” Chan said, looking at Felix. Changbin turned his head to look at him, Jisung sitting up a little to rest his chin on Changbin’s chest. He nodded at him and Felix sighed. “I figured. You guys are roommates after all. You were cool with it?”

_Well duh, I started doing it before he did._

“Yeah. It’s his body, and if he feels comfortable doing it, who am I to stop him? It’s a pretty lucrative business too, ‘Sungie told me the numbers,” Felix told him, climbing up onto his bed.

“I supposed being young and beautiful does pay,” Changbin commented, Jisung smacking his thigh. “Ow! What? I get it, it’s worth it if you’re confident to do it, it pays but I just couldn’t. How do you get used to being filmed while touching yourself? I’d be so nervous all the time. And that’s such a vulnerable thing to show people.”

“You get used to it,” Jisung replied. “And sometimes it’s like… it feels like it’s not even you. I have friends, uh… in the community, who have personas.” _Hyunjin_ , Felix thought. “Sometimes it helps to separate yourself from the job. To pretend to be someone else, y’know.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Chan said, sounding thoughtful.

“So it’s like… playing a role?” Changbin suggested. “I guess that would help.”

“Everyone has their methods, I guess,” Felix said. “Are you guys staying the night or nah?”

“You want us to leave?” Chan asked.

“No, just thought I’d ask,” Felix said, leaning over the far side of his bed, shoving his bag under his bed.

 

“So did you figure something out?” Felix asked, taking a bite of the sundae he was sharing with Jisung. Hyunjin shook his head, he and Seungmin sitting on the opposite side of the booth, sharing their own sundae. “What about you?” He asked, poking Jisung in the shoulder. 

“Changbin said I could film if I locked my door and told him before I started,” Jisung said. Hyunjin’s mouth dropped open, stabbing his spoon into the ice cream. Seungmin snorted, pushing the fudge chunks out of the way to get to the green tea ice cream. “I have a great roommate, what’re you gonna do about it?”

“Can I film at yours?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung snorted.

“Sure, but you have to tell Changbin you’re a camboy,” Jisung told him.

“Done.”

“You are not gonna tell him,” Seungmin said, shoving Hyunjin a little with his shoulder. “He’ll fucking kill you, not for the fact that you’re a camboy but for the fact that you got Jisung started in it,” Seungmin told him. Hyunjin frowned at him. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I don’t think he has a lot of options,” Jisung pointed out, lifting his brows as he scooped out a bite of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. “You can’t film at home, that’s a fact, what if your parents come home early from work?” Jisung pointed out, getting a horrified shutter from everyone at the table. “Exactly. You either tell my roommate you’re a camboy or your channel dies for three and a half months.”

“I’ll take my chances at death,” Hyunjin decided, getting an eye roll from Seungmin. “You’ll still film for us this summer, right?”

“There goes my innocence,” Seungmin sighed, letting his spoon rest in the sundae. “Now Changbin has to know I knew about it? Thanks,” He directed the statement at the whole table.

“You can say no,” Jisung told him, laughing a little bit, Felix snorting into his bite of triple chocolate chunk.

“No, I can’t. I’ll feel too guilty,” Seungmin admitted.

“Awe, you do love us,” Hyunjin said, teasing a little bit.

“I won’t feel guilty because I’m not helping you,” Seungmin informed them, digging into the green tea again. “I’ll feel guilty for all your viewers, that I would let them look at your shitty potato laptop cams again. That’s so mean,” Seungmin pointed out.

“Fuck you too,” Jisung said, pointing at him. Seungmin giggled into his ice cream, Hyunjin shoving him a little bit. “Felix,” Jisung said, turning to his friend. Felix’s brow lifted, his spoon in his mouth, “you’re the real dilemma here. What’re you gonna do?”

“I dunno,” Felix said, pulling his spoon from his mouth. “Let my channel die, I guess.”

“You can’t do that,” Hyunjin told him. “It’s too popular, you’ll never get that traction back.”

“Even I agree with Hyunjin, and I would never do that of my own volition,” Seungmin said, making Felix snort and Hyunjin frown at him. “You’ll drop viewers like flies. That’s a terrible idea. You have to do something.”

“I can’t. I can’t film at home, if I even think about doing something like that, I’m dead,” Felix reminded them. “I went to a Catholic school. My parents, God Bless them, would murder me. I would be so dead not even the second coming of Christ could save me. No,” he said, pointing at all of them.

“If your channel dies, you’re fucked for next year,” Jisung reminded him. Felix huffed, poking at the sundae. “Felix, I had a thought.”

“I don’t like that,” Felix replied. “Because your thoughts about Australia, usually involve Chan and he’s not to know about any of this.”

“Why?” Hyunjin asked, mouth full of ice cream.

“He took Sungie being a camboy super well, better than Changbin. He’d be cool with it,” Seungmin pointed out.

“I don’t want to open that can of worms, alright? If Chan knows, that’s way too close to home, too dangerous,” Felix insisted. “And I’m not kidding about my parents. They might disown my ass. We’re not telling Chan, it’s not happening. My channel dies, it’s dies. That’s life.”

“I’m not happy about it,” Hyunjin told him.

“Me neither,” Jisung told him. “But I won’t tell Chan, I promise,” Jisung told him, offering his pinkie, which Felix hooked his pinkie with.

 

“Hey, Chan,” Jisung said, catching up with him the studio. Chan looked up from his laptop, smiling at Jisung. “I thought I wouldn’t catch ya,” he admitted, closing the door.

“Why? It’s only… oh,” Chan said, looking at the time. Jisung gave him a pointed looked and Chan looked away. “Stop judging me, I’m older than you.”

“Trying to get back to Australia time already, huh?” Jisung asked, sitting down with him.

The studio was already pretty deserted due to the late hour, but most of the music production courses had also already let out for the semester. There were a few studios that were occupied by a few students cramming for their last final but most of them were empty. Chan, however, had snagged an open on to work on some personal stuff. Jisung knew it too, so even though it was late, he had a pretty good feeling Chan would be here.

“Ha ha, what’s up?” Chan asked, smiling at him.

“I got a question for you,” Jisung told him. Chan nodded.

“Okay, shoot.”

“You said you used to do solo work back home, in a rented studio. You’d pay for it for a few hours to do your music stuff and I was thinking… do you think you could film there? Like… privately. Locked door and everything,” Jisung asked. Chan leaned back in his chair, thinking.

He used those studios before he went to college, and every summer since he started. It wasn’t too expensive to rent, a lot of people in the area would, for a lot of different things. He figured you could, it was a pretty straight forward set up with a blank room, table, chairs, a key for the room and no one could bother you. No one was allowed in if you didn’t let them in. Pretty private.

But why was Jisung asking?

“I guess. Why?”

“Just wondering. You think you could write down the place for me? Felix was asking, he was looking for a space over the summer,” Jisung told him. Chan set his laptop to the side and leaned towards Jisung. 

“Sungie, what’s this about?” He asked. Jisung grimaced. “If Felix was looking for a place, why didn’t he just come to me? Why are you asking? Is everything okay? He’s not like… in trouble, is he?” Chan asked, slowly.

“No!” Jisung replied. “No, he just, uh… he was nervous about asking you, is all,” Jisung said, and Chan lifted a brow at him. “He asked me to ask you… because we’re close, you know. We hang out a lot, uh… he figured it would be less awkward if I asked you.”

“So why don’t… I just give him the information?” Chan suggested.

“I mean… I can do it. He did ask me, after all,” Jisung insisted. Chan nodded, not looking convinced. “He just wanted to know about the place a little bit, all I need is the address. I can give it to him.”

“Jisung-”

“Chan,” Jisung interrupted him. “Hyung,” Jisung sighed. “Just trust me, okay? I need to do this.”

“Okay,” Chan relented. “Here,” Chan said, picking up his notebook and pen. He wrote down all the information about the place, the rental by hour price, the address, the room set up and then tore the page out. He offered it to Jisung, who reached for it. Chan snatched it back quick though and looked at Jisung. “Promise me, that everything is fine. That Felix isn’t in trouble or… in danger.”

“I promise, he’s fine,” Jisung said. “Trust me.”

 

“This thing is heavier than I thought it would be,” Jisung admitted, heaving his box onto his bed. Felix snorted, tugging on the zipper of his suitcase. “How did I accumulate this many toys? I’m one person!” Jisung said, gesturing wildly to the box. It wasn’t full of toys but it did hold his toys, a few other bits and bobs for his job and it was covered with his two throw blankets.

“Gotta keep it interesting,” Hyunjin said from where he was sitting on Felix’s suitcase. “Felix bought a fucking cockring so it could be worse.”

“I can’t believe you beat me to that,” Jisung bemoaned, throwing himself down on the bed. “I’m the edgy one, I’m the one who wears harnesses, how could you do this to me?!” Jisung complained, Felix looking over at him with a mildly amused facial expression. “Stop being better at this than me, it’s really offensive.”

“Of course I’m better at this than you, I’ve been doing it longer,” Felix told him, voice flat. “You’re gonna beat me this summer though, so don’t feel bad.”

“No, I’m not,” Jisung said, sitting up on his bed. Hyunjin tilted his head at him, Felix lifting a brow. “I did some research into the Sydney area, and I think I have a solution for you,” Jisung told him proudly. “Here,” he told him, offering him a folded piece of paper.

Felix plucked it from his hand hesitantly, slowly opening it. It was an address and phone number for a location in the Sydney area, in the Arts district. It wasn’t too far from his home, he could take the bus if he wanted. There was rental information on the paper, price per hour, the room size. Felix looked up to see Jisung smiling at him, Hyunjin reading over his shoulder.

“What is this?” Felix asked.

“Your filming location. I called the place ahead of time, asked them a few questions about filming, they were really cool about it. It’s totally private, lock and key, and you can rent by the hour so you can rent the place for… a couple of hours to get your shoots done and then just leave the key behind. No one has to know what you’re using it for, you don’t even have to disclose specifics about why you’re renting,” Jisung told him. Felix looked at him in awe and then back at the paper.

“This could work, ‘Lix,” Hyunjin said, smiling. Felix blinked a couple of time, swallowing. “You could rent during the day, just once a week, call it… over the summer course work, your parents wouldn’t know. You should do it.”

“How did you find this?” Felix asked, holding up the paper.

“Just some internet work,” Jisung brushed off. “You can afford it, to rent a couple of hours every week, and you don’t have to let your channel die at all. It’s a win for everyone. You get your channel, your parents don’t find out, it’s perfect, right?” Jisung asked, smiling widely. Felix choke a laugh, looking back at the paper.

“We all know you didn’t want to stop working this summer,” Hyunjin said softly. Felix nodded. “Even if you aren’t sure now, maybe just… go down there, talk to them a little bit? It could work, Lix, it really could.”

“Fuck, I just…” Felix let out another choked laugh and then launched himself at Jisung, knocking them both over on his bed. Jisung laughed into his friend’s shoulder, Felix almost squeezing the life out of him. “Thank you! Thank you so much, Sungie. I can’t believe you did this, I can’t believe you did this for me!” He said, hugging him so tightly Jisung let out a wheezing laugh.

“I can’t breathe, Felix,” Jisung gasped, Felix letting go and sitting up on his knees. Jisung smiled at him, not getting up from where he was lying on the bed. “I couldn’t let you give up on your channel, you love it and it would kill you to let it die over the summer. It was obvious that I had to help you somehow.”

“I love you,” Felix sighed. “Seriously, you know how much this means to me.”

“I know,” Jisung shrugged off.

 

“I flew here by myself, you know,” Felix reminded Chan while he went through the checklist of papers he needed to get on the flight. Chan laughed gently, looking at Felix. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I land, okay? Text me too, when you board. I don’t care if I’m in the air, I wanna know, okay?” Felix told him, smiling at him.

“I will, I promise,” Chan agreed. “You should go, I don’t want you to be late to boarding,” Chan told him. Felix nodded and then threw himself at Chan, hugging him tightly. Chan laughed into his shoulder, hugging him back. “Have a safe flight. I’ll see you next week, okay?” He said and then pulled back a little. “We’ll go to the center, get lunch together?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Felix agreed. Chan pulled him back in for a tight hug before letting go of him again.

“Alright, get out of here or you’ll be late,” he told him. “Let me know when you board, okay?”

“I will. I’ll see you on the other side,” Felix joked. Chan nodded, Felix pulling away to head down the terminal, Chan breathing out slowly as he watched him walk away.

He wasn’t going very far, they would see each other next week, and they would be getting off in the exact same airport after their own horrendous ten hour flights. Chan knew Felix would be just fine but he watched him walk down the terminal to his own gate until Chan couldn’t see him anymore.

Chan still had hours until his own flight so he took a deep breath and decided to get something to eat to get his mind off of it.

 

 **memelix:** and we’re off!

 **j.one:** have a safe flight!

 **the_prince:** text us when you land!

 

 **cb97:** i’m outta here

 **uwujin:** have a safe flight!! let us know when you land!!

 **spearb:** have a good flight!

 

 **memelix:** i don’t love it but i can make this work

 **j.one:** YOU WENT TO THE PLACE?!

 **savagemin:** how bad is it?

 **memelix:** it’s not, it’s just not the dorm

 **memelix:** floor’s wood tho

 **the_prince:** ooh

 **j.one:** arguably better than my flooring, i still have carpet

 **savagemin:** alright i’m gonna ask the question

 **savagemin:** what’re you gonna do for camera work because you cannot go back to your laptop cam

 **savagemin:** it would be wrong of you

 **memelix:** fear not, minnie. i bought a gopro.

 **savagemin:** I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

 **the_prince:** wow felix is like big money now

 **memelix:** it’s not like… the most expensive one, i just didn’t want to film on my shit laptop cam anymore

 **savagemin:** after the past nine months, you’re physically not allowed to

 **savagemin:** i would fly to australia and kick your ass if you did

 **memelix:** audio might not be as good but… sacrifices for being a one man show

 **savagemin:** the video quality, depending on the one you got, is super smooth and i’ve seen the specs on the audio, it’s not bad

 **j.one:** you know we’re gonna watch the first video you film there, right?

 **memelix:** i might send you the raw footage before i even post

 **the_prince:** YAAAAASSSSS

 

The space was pretty empty, that was for sure. It was just a table, a couple of chairs and a couch on the far wall. The door could be locked from the inside, and it had a window but there was a shade that could be pulled down on it so the privacy wasn’t an issue and he asked the person running the desk if the rooms were soundproof. They didn’t even bat an eye, said it was mostly soundproof, unless you were really gunning to be heard by others, you were pretty much good to go.

The floors were an average colored hardwood and the walls were beige, nothing too exciting to see there. Felix has specified a windowless room and they were more than happy to accommodate. The only downside he could see from here was… well… the lack of bed.

“Blankets it is,” he mumbled. He walked down the length of the room. Felix wasn’t great with square meters but he would bet the room was about four long by three wide. Decent room size for one person, more than enough for filming. And if he moved the table and chairs to the corner across from the door, he could film in the area left over. The couch could be really great for filming too, it wasn’t very big, a plain black leather.

“Are you interested in renting?” The woman asked, peering in the room. Felix turned around to smile at her.

“I am."

 

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Chan said, while sitting down with him in the cafe. Felix hummed, toying with his straw wrapper. “What’s got you so chipper? I know you’re out of school, but c’mon,” Chan said, poking him in the forearm, making Felix jerk back away from him. “C’mon, share your wealth." 

It was the first time they had gotten back together since school let out and the place was absolutely bustling. Students were out of school, it was still a balmy 21 degrees outside and the shopping center was busy. They expected it to be but they had the best food places in the entire area so they didn’t mind.

Felix had met Chan there after having dropped by the rental place, in a better mood than he had been since he got back to Australia.

“It’s nothing, I’ve just been… looking for a place to rent out. There’s some stuff I have to do this summer and I thought I just… wouldn’t be able to do it for a while,” Felix admitted. He wasn’t sure why he was telling Chan, he really didn’t want to push his luck with Chan finding out but… Chan was so easy to talk to. Chan nodded. “Jisung told me about this place it’s uh… not far from here and the employees there were so kind and accommodating, I think it might actually work. I dunno, it’s stupid-” Felix brushed off, looking down at the table.

“It’s not,” Chan stopped him. “You know…” Chan trailed off. “Jisung didn’t want me to tell you, but I think I should,” Chan said, Felix’s eyes darting to his face. “That place, Jisung asked me about it. He said you needed a space to film this summer, he didn’t say what it was but… he asked about it because I told him I used to do some music stuff there. I still do.” Chan admitted with a shrug.

“Jisung asked you,” Felix muttered, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I understand if you’re upset I didn’t tell you or… you don’t want to use that place anymore,” Chan sighed, “but I figured… it would be fair to tell you. I still rent a room there a couple of hours a week in the summer too so…”

“Did you not want me to use that place?” Felix asked, slowly. Chan looked up at him in surprise.

“No. No, of course you can. Felix, what you use that place for, it’s none of my business, I just thought… you oughta know. I might be there,” Chan told him. “That’s okay, right?”

“Of course it is,” Felix agreed with an easy smile. “Maybe we’ll run into each other,” Felix joked. “I won’t be there very often, probably only once a week but… yeah.”

“Okay. I just didn’t… I dunno, I didn’t want you to freak out if you saw me there.”

“Why would I do that?”

 

 **memelix:** you’re such a liar, jisung

 **j.one:** WHAT DID I DO?

 **savagemin:** wow even from almost 8500 km jisung is fucking up

 **memelix:** chan told me the truth

 **the_prince:** jisung what did you do?

 **j.one:** alright ALRIGHT

 **j.one:** i asked chan about the place he uses in the summer for his studio work because he mentioned it was a rent by the hour place and it was private

 **j.one:** i’m guilty of only one thing tho!

 **savagemin:** yeah?

 **j.one:** being a good friend

 **the_prince:** wow

 **j.one:** i promise i didn’t tell him ANYTHING about why he needed it

 **j.one:** just that felix needed a place this summer to film that was private

 **savagemin:** that’s a very suspicious thing to say, jisung

 **memelix:** maybe but chan didn’t pry when he told me about it so…

 **memelix:** i guess you can live

 **the_prince:** felix truly is the nicest of all of us

 

Felix closed the door to the room gently, locking it behind himself. He leaned against it and took a deep breath. He felt nervous, of course. It was the first time was shooting here, the first time he was shooting in Australia at all and he… he needed a moment to deal with the anxiety of it.

He was excited, of course, he couldn’t wait to get back into it but the set up, it was just him, his tripod and his gopro. There was no Seungmin or Hyunjin or Jisung to help him and he was… nervous, of course. But he could do this, at least he told himself that as he pulled the shade on the window, set up his tripod and laid the blanket out on the floor. He tilted his head back and forth, surveying the scene.

Thankful he had brought more things, he laid a second blanket out behind the first, bunched up in a semicircle, almost a nest like situation. He wasn’t perfectly satisfied with it but he could make due. He tossed his bag on the table next, pulling out his clothes, his mirror and his makeup. He pulled out the case he had brought with him, turning it over his hands before setting it to the side.

“It’s not any different than before,” he told himself. “I can do this. Just… a different location. It’ll be fun,” he said into the mirror. “Yeah. Yeah,” he agreed with himself, stripping out of his jeans and t-shirt.

 

 **memelix:** i’m fragile

 **memelix:** tell me i don’t look stupid

**memelix attached a file**

**j.one:** YOU DID THE WHOLE THING IN ENGLISH

 **the_prince:** i’m glad i have basic english skills at least

 **savagemin:** i’ve never watched one of your videos as a test audience

 **savagemin:** but i can tell you i was not disappointed

 **j.one:** are you changing your location on the website?

 **memelix:** for the summer yeah

 **memelix:** maybe i can appeal to a different audience???

 **the_prince:** you appeal to every audience, shut the fuck up

 

 **cb97:** i’m gonna ask a question

 **cb97:** and i don’t want to be judged

 **spearb:** wow i gotta go

 **j.one:** me too

 **cb97:** i don’t know why i even came to you people for this

 **j.one:** what is it

 **cb97:** if i were to look for a camboy

 **spearb:** I ACTUALLY DO HAVE TO GO WOW

 **j.one:** go on

 **cb97:** alright

 **cb97:** how would i go about it?

 **j.one:** do you mean like…

 **j.one:** for yourself to watch?

 **cb97:** …

 **spearb:** hyung

 **cb97:** LOOK I KNEW JISUNG WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP AND I WAS CURIOUS

**j.one sent a link**

**cb97:** is this…

 **j.one:** whatever you do, don’t click any video by HAN

 **j.one:** that’s my only suggestion

 **spearb:** jisung

 **j.one:** or The Prince, not him either

 **cb97:** is there something you guys wanna tell me

 **cb97:** about hyunjin maybe?

 **spearb:** nope

 **j.one:** not that i can think of

 **cb97:** good. can’t wait to come back to korea to whatever that’s about.

 

Chan painstakingly typed the link into his browser (God Bless whoever came up with incognito mode) and waited for the page to load up. He really didn’t want to think about what he was going to stumble upon, and he really didn’t want to think about the fact that this was Jisung’s work website, apparently, but here he was. He was doing it.

It wasn’t that Chan didn’t know how to get himself off, of course he did, he was a young 21 year old with an imagination, it wasn’t hard to conjure up an image that would get him off. But sometimes he got bored. Sometimes he wanted to experience something else, try new things, discover new things that he was into. A camboy wasn’t his first choice, by any means, but it was easy.

The website was red, that was what Chan noticed first of all. It was very red and it reminded him of a risque Youtube. Top trending channels were at the top, followed by videos by the tag, videos by the category and, of course, a search bar at the top. If he opened the sidebar, it was a menu of all the categories available to peruse, filters to search by location, by most popular, by length. It was all pretty overwhelming to stare at and Chan swallowed, closing his laptop just a little bit to take a breath.

 

 **cb97:** why is this website so complicated?

 **j.one:** alright well firstly it’s not

 **j.one:** if you know how to use pornhub you can use this website

 **j.one:** secondly if you don’t know what to do just choose one of the top channels

 **j.one:** or search something, i’m sure you could find something you like

 **spearb:** how do i eject myself from this chat

 

Chan huffed to himself and opened his laptop all the way again. The page wasn’t hard to look at, it was a darker shade but it just seemed more than ready to remind Chan what he was looking for. 

He clicked the top channel link and let the website load up a list of all the top channels on the website. He settled back into his pillows and scrolled, beginning to accept that this was what he was doing. He was looking at channels of people that were willing to fuck themselves in front of a camera for other people to watch and he was one of those people who wanted to watch.

He was surprised, however, by the mix of girls and boys on the website. This was clearly a mixed sex and mixed gender website if Jisung was on it but he was still mildly surprised. He supposed it was a little sexist to think such a thing, but he kind of had always supposed it was mostly a female job description. But it seemed for every two female channels, he found a male one and he hummed to himself.

He didn’t know how long he went up and down the list, pausing, changing his mind, choosing a girl, choosing a guy and then backing out before the video even loaded, but he considered scrapping the idea altogether. He could get himself off, he had done it before and then he could turn over and pass out and not entertain such a ridiculous idea ever again. And then Chan could face Jisung when he went back to Korea with a clean conscious.

He had to be four pages into the top channels and moments from closing out of the window altogether when he noticed it.

 _Freckles0915_ was the title of this channel and Chan hovered his cursor over the channel. It was up there, it was a few pages back but it had to be a pretty popular channel if it was even on the Top Channels option. Chan couldn’t make out the icon, it was a little too small, but he clicked the link.

The page took it’s sweet time to load and when it did, Chan realized that maybe it was the universe trying to stop him.

The icon was visible now and Chan must’ve done a triple take when he looked because he knew those features anywhere. The narrow face, button nose, pretty brown eyes, the way the sharp teeth in their mouth was biting down on a pink, plump bottom lip. The hair was the wrong color, a orange-y ginger but Chan distinctly remembered the months and months of it being that color after he let Jisung a little too close to him with bleach and a natural red shade of dye.

It was Felix. It was obviously Felix, and Chan should’ve just closed out right then. He was thinking about doing it anyway, closing the window, jerking off and going to bed. That way he could look Jisung _and_ Felix in the eye and no one had to know. Chan could act like he had no idea Felix ever had a channel and everything would be exactly as normal as it had ever been.

But he didn’t. He scrolled down the page and looked at the lines and lines and _lines_ of videos that Felix had apparently filmed. At some point.

“No way,” Chan muttered to himself. He scrolled back up and looked at the most recent video.

It had only been posted the day before. The thumbnail gave very little to the eye, it was just Felix with his blond hair (it had been fading out, it was a lot lighter but it was a sandy shade now and Chan could see his roots, fuck, he saw his roots in person and told him he should get that fixed _three days ago_ ), smirking into the camera while wearing eyeliner and an oversized flannel.

Chan didn’t know what possessed him, and he was sure he was possessed, that’s the only reason he would even consider clicking the damn video.

Felix materialized on his screen and Chan had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from blurting out something rather embarrassing. God, he looked good, sitting on his knees in front of the camera, wearing a pair of black thigh highs, a red, tan and black flannel and looked up into the camera with big, darkly lined eyes. He smiled, but it wasn’t any kind of smile Chan had ever seen on him, it was knowing and sexy, more of a smirk like a smile and Chan lowered his hand, licking his lips and biting hard on his lower lip.

 _“Welcome back to my channel,”_ he said to the camera. “ _Sorry I’m wearing so many clothes, I’m just so cold,”_  he pouted into the camera, fisting the ends of his sleeves, tucking them under his chin. “ _It’s been pretty cold lately so I thought I’d wear a few more layers,”_ he said. He tucked his legs under himself, stretching out his legs for the camera. “ _I haven’t worn these in a while,_ ” he said, running a hand over his legs. “ _I really like thigh highs, they make me feel good,_ ” he admitted. He readjusted to sit back up on his knees. “ _But since I am wearing so many layers I thought I’d… wear something special for you?"_  He suggested.

His fingers curled around the hem of his flannel, pulling it up to reveal a pair of panties. Chan threw his hand back up to his mouth, to cover the rather loud gasp he let out. Felix twisted a little to show off the sides and Chan realized quite quickly that he was not wearing a pair of panties, he was wearing a lace thong.

It wasn’t much material at all, it was maroon in color, and the bulge of his cock in the lace was obscene, to say the least. Chan had a fleeting thought about how he managed to get his dick in there to begin with; how the hell it hadn’t slipped out now that it was hard, he really didn’t know. Not that it was really all the way in there, the tip peeked up out of the waistband just a little and Chan bit down on his knuckle to silence himself.

“ _You like it? I have a small collection but I don’t usually get to wear them… I don’t really…_ ” Felix paused, looking coy and playful, “ _fit, you know?_ ” He giggled. “ _Cute, hm?”_ His right hand let go of the hem, sliding over the bulge in the lace, Felix biting his lip as he moaned softly. He made a show of it, the way he would grope himself, slowly, deliberately, looking up at the camera with bedroom eyes, lip between his teeth as he moaned softly.

His fingertip gently toyed with tip peeking out from the waistband and he gasped. His sharp gasp made Chan readjust just a little in bed, suddenly aware of how heavy his own cock had gotten in his sweats. He lowered his hand, licking his lips as he shifting up in bed, his eyes still watching Felix touch himself over the thong.

“ _Oh, I didn’t tell you what I was gonna play with today,_ ” Felix said. He let go of his flannel, leaning towards the camera to pick up something out of view. Lifting it up and into view of the camera, he smiled. “ _I know it doesn’t look like much,_ ” he said, cradling it between his hands. And it didn’t, it was a tiny little controller, with a three button pad but Chan was no idiot. “ _But I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what this controls,_ ” he said, and then pressed one of the buttons.

The sound was soft, you almost couldn’t hear it on the camera but Felix jolted a little before moaning lowly, rocking back a little bit. The vibration noise was on a steady pulsing beat, and Felix shifted back to sit down on his ass, his legs spread out in front of him.

“ _Ooh fuck. I haven’t played with this one in a while, I forgot how strong it is, even on the lowest setting,_ ” Felix admitted to the camera. “ _Feels so good though, it’s really long with these thick bulbs, fills me up so good,_ ” Felix insisted, rocking back. “ _But I know what you want to see,_ ” Felix said, his eyes dropping back down to his crotch.

His fingers slowly unbuttoned every button, opening the flannel to reveal his toned chest and stomach. He then dropped his hands down to his thong, gently pushing it down over his cock. It slipped from the waistband, bumping up against his stomach before settling between his legs.

His cock was pretty average looking, a little longer than average but definitely an average thickness. It was hard, pink and wet at the tip. Felix grabbed a hold of himself and stroked himself slowly, moaning as he tipped his head back.

“ _Oh yeah, feels so good. My cock’s so hard, been hard all day just thinking about this. When I prepped myself earlier, I almost came. I had to put on one of my pretty cockrings to stop myself, it felt so good. And my vibrator,”_ Felix pressed a button, gasping sharply as the noise picked up a little bit. “ _Oh, fuck, it’s so deep. It’s right, oh god, right where I need it. It’s fucking me so good._ ”

Chan wasn’t an idiot, he had a feeling Felix was just saying all of this stuff to get people going, to paint a lewd picture for people to think about. All of this, it was fake but he was already so hard, he let his hand slip under the waistband of his sweats, of his boxers and take a hold of himself. Stroke himself slow and deliberate, following the way Felix was touching himself with his eyes, matching him stroke for stroke.

“ _You wanna see?_ ” Felix teased. He rolled over, pushing himself onto his knees and showing his ass off to the camera. It was cute, round, the kind of butt Chan was sure people thought about getting a handful of every time he showed it off. He wiggled a little bit, spreading his knees to show off his cock hanging between his legs, pink and wet.

His hand grabbed his ass, spreading himself at the camera. Chan bit back a moan when he saw the flared base peek out from behind the thick string of his thong. He pushed the string to the side and took hold of the base, pulling it out a bit. The vibration noises got louder as he pulled it out and when Chan glanced down, he noticed that the remote wasn’t sitting on the blankets in front of him like it had been.

Felix pushed it back in, slowly, moaning loudly as it disappeared inside of him. Chan gripped the base of his cock, pressing his lips together to keep himself quiet. He rocked back onto the vibrator on screen, moaning as he fucked himself on his knees, the vibration noises pulsing with every movement of the vibrator.

The vibrator kicked up a little bit more in volume and Felix threw his head back as he moaned, fucking himself harder, faster. Chan clenched his jaw, fisting his cock, stroking himself steadily as Felix fucked himself on his computer screen.

“ _Oh fuck, fuck, yes! Fuck yes, it feels so good. Fills me up so deep, shit,_ ” Felix swore, rocking back against the vibrator. He pulled it out slow, showing off the beads of the toy. One, two, three and then it popped out. Felix rested it against his rim, gently pushing it back inside, the beads disappearing past his rim, the stretch of each one pulling a moan from him.

“ _Gonna come, fuck, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come on this vibrator, it feels so good. Fills me up so deep, fuck,_ ” He muttered. Chan looked to see his dick twitching between his legs, the color having darkened from pink to red. “ _Oh fuck, fuck, so good. Wanna see me come? Hm? I know you wanna see me come._ ”

He sounded so certain of it, Chan watched with rapt attention as he relentlessly fucked himself, his moaning rising in pitch with every thrust of the toy. The noise pushed Chan closer and closer to the edge, the desperate whine in his tone, his need to make himself come.

“ _Fuck, fuck, yes, yes, oh,”_ he whined and with one final thrust, he came between his legs, his come painting across the red blanket he had put under himself. It was a mess, dripping off his red tipped cock in steady strings, Felix moaning through his orgasm, the vibrator still going inside of him as he rocked back against it.

“Oh fuck,” Chan mumbled, and he knew he was fucked the moment he felt himself come. He slumped back into his bed, feeling come dribble over his fingers, the sticky feeling of his come in his boxers. He tipped his head back, his panting echoing the sound of Felix’s in his headphones.

 

“You’re late,” Felix teased him.

He was. Chan was late by at least 20 minutes to meet Felix. It had become something of a regular thing, their biweekly lunches together. Chan needed someone to get him out of his house and Felix was tired of hanging around his younger siblings. It was well into July at this point, so it wasn’t much longer until they went to back to school, but they had been doing this all summer

Chan licked his lips, taking a deep breath as he sat down across from Felix. He really, really thought about not showing up. It was awful, it would’ve been mean to beg off their normal lunch because he was ashamed that he got off to one of Felix’s videos. It had been days but the idea of seeing him, it made him nervous.

“You okay?” Felix asked as the waitress dropped a couple of glasses of water off at the table. Felix thanked her softly while Chan sat down and took a deep drink, his throat suddenly so dry. “Hyung?” Felix prompted, his voice a little lower than before.

“Hm?” Chan hummed, clearing his throat and he set the glass to the side. “I’m fine. Sorry, I’m… I might be coming down with something, it’s been… so cold, lately,” Chan said, swallowing, immediately wanting to punch himself.

“You’re not getting sick are you?” Felix asked. He leaned across the table to touch Chan’s cheek, Chan flinching back from him. Felix slowly pulled back and sat down. “Okay… are you sure you’re okay? You’re worrying me,” Felix admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Chan apologized, his shoulders finally dropping. “Can I be honest with you?” Chan asked.

“Of course you can, what is it?” Felix asked.

Chan looked at Felix for a long, long moment. Felix was always so open with him, there had to be a reason he didn’t tell Chan. And Chan, looking at Felix’s completely open and unknowing face, he couldn’t tell him. Felix would hate him, Chan was sure of it. So Chan lied.

“Senior thesis is super stressing me out,” Chan blurted out. Felix relaxed into the seat. “It’s stupid but like… I’m barely sleeping, I’m spending all my time at the studio, it’s like… if I don’t do well on this-”

“Chan, you’re one of the most talented music producers I know. You’re a natural with music,” Felix told him, opening his menu. “If you don’t pass, it’s gonna be actual bullshit, you know that, right? You are more than capable, don’t let it get to you. And we don’t even go back to school for another month or so, so stop panicking. You’re gonna get high blood pressure that way,” Felix teased him. Chan rolled his eyes at him, also opening his menu.

“I always have high blood pressure, I’m friends with Jisung,” Chan retorted, making Felix laugh.

Chan never even thought about bringing it up from then on. He didn’t want to upset Felix, he didn’t want to risk their friendship like that so he just… never said anything.

That didn’t stop him from checking Felix’s channel though. For about a week he felt so bad about lying, he bought Felix coffee every morning, but the feeling was relieved a little bit when he made an account and subscribed. It was 5.99 USD that he was losing every month but it was worth it if it meant he was helping Felix even a little bit while he was lying to him.

A week before Chan and Felix were set to fly back out to Korea (they had the same flight this time, they were even sitting next to each other), Chan was lying in bed when his email went off. His brow furrowed as he checked his personal email, sucking in a breath when he realized it was an email notification from the website.

Felix had posted a new video.

For a moment, Chan entertained not checking. He had checked his channel enough in the past month (so much, he knew his upload schedule by heart, which meant this surprise video was even more perplexing) so he left it alone. But only for a moment because why was Felix posting at such an odd time, off schedule even.

Chan went to his channel, sighing deeply as he kicked off his sweats, getting comfortable against his pillows. Nothing seemed to be out of place on the channel, normal as ever so Chan clicked the new video, the _posted 1 min ago_ video.

“ _Hello again,”_ Felix greeted them. “ _Welcome back to my channel. As most of you have probably noticed, this video is a little off schedule,_ ” he explained. As he was talking, Chan couldn’t help but notice that the setting of the video was off as well. Felix was dressed as normal, an oversized top (a dark blue to sky blue gradient sweater) covering the panties of the day and this time it was knee high socks, a pretty pastel blue. But he was sitting on the couch in the room, which Chan was familiar with at this point.

Putting two and two together was not hard for Chan as soon as he realized what Felix and Jisung meant by “filming.”

“ _There’s a reason, I promise. If you guys didn’t know, I’ve been making videos for you for… just under a year now and I just broke ten thousand subs last night,”_ Felix told them. “ _And I promised myself I would do something fun and a little naughty when I broke that milestone,”_ Felix introduced. “ _So…”_ he trailed off and slipped to the floor. He disappeared from view for just a moment, before coming back, sitting on his knees on the floor in front of, what looked like, a monster sized dildo.

“ _I have a secret I have to tell you… I have always wanted a Bad Dragon dildo and I finally got to get one,_ ” Felix told the camera, his fingers trailing over the bumps and curves of the toy. “ _I decided to get myself something kind of special, this is the Apollo in the signature color, size medium and I am so excited to get to play with it as a special treat,_ ” Felix explained, grinning like a kid in the candy store.

“ _It’s pretty, right? The ridges feel so nice, I can only imagine how good they’re gonna feel inside,_ ” Felix muttered. “ _And I almost forgot,”_ Felix said, reached off camera to pick up something. In frame, he held up a syringe filled with a white liquid. “ _I’m a little bit naughty, I bought it with a cumtube._ ”

Chan wasn’t well versed in sex toys, by any means, but the word  _cumtube_ was going to be trapped in his brain until he died. He had no idea about any of this, the brand, the kind, but he was already hard just thinking about watching Felix sit on that toy.

“ _I also have a little bit of a confession to make,_ ” Felix said, setting the syringe to the side. “ _I got a little excited so…_ ” He lifted the edge of his sweater and reveal that he wasn’t even wearing any underwear. Chan bit his lips to stop himself from moaning. Felix had never done that before, not from what Chan had watched, he must’ve been really excited about this.

 _“I know how much you like my panties, I’m sorry. But I’m already so hard,_ ” Felix moaned, stroking himself. And he was, he was already red at the tip, precum dripping. “ _I wanted tonight to be special so I brought one of my friends,_ ” Felix said, toying with the little blue ring at the base of his cock. “ _I don’t want to come early, I wanna get fucked so good, so deep before I come._ ”

“ _Fuck, I’m so excited,_ ” Felix said, getting all the way up on his knees. “ _I had to prep myself with one my big toys to make sure I could get it all inside. Might still be a little close,_ ” Felix said. He positioned himself above it and then slowly lowered himself.

“ _Oh fuck, oh that stretches me so good, fuck…_ ” he moaned. Between his legs, Chan could see the toy disappear from sight and he slipped his hand into his boxers, gripping the base of his cock. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

Felix lifted himself up a little bit, and then back down, slowly fucking himself down on the toy. The toy was clearly stuck to the ground in some way, because it didn’t move a bit as Felix circled his hips and inched further down, gasping and moaning his praised for how good the toy felt.

“ _Fuck, I knew the ridges would be good. Fuck, it fills me so good, stretches me so wide,_ ” Felix moaned and then gasped, his mouth falling open. “ _Shit, I forgot it had this knot. Oh… my… god, it’s so…_ ” Felix cut himself off with a moan, tilting his head back. Chan watched him ride the toy while also watching his face, Felix looked fucking ethereal while he was pleasing himself.

“ _You want to see, don’t you?_ ” Felix said, giving the camera bedroom eyes. “ _Of course you do,_ ” Felix said. He lifted himself up, turning around and lowering himself back down, revealing his ass as the toy slid deeper inside of him. “ _I bet I can get all of it inside,_ ” Felix challenged, lowering himself down onto his calves.

The moan Felix let out when he was seated all the way down onto the base was downright filthy. Chan stroked himself in time with Felix’s rocking, the feeling of his orgasm filling his stomach so much faster than he was expecting it to.

“ _I told you I could,”_ Felix teased. “ _Of course, that’s not the main event, now is it?_ ” Felix added, reaching over while still on the toy. He turned himself around, groaning softly. Chan could only imagine the feeling of those ridges when he turned around while still on the toy. “ _I’ve always… had a little bit of a fantasy. It’s pretty dirty, actually,_ ” Felix whispered like it was a secret. He reached off screen, picking up the syringe again, the piping disappearing into the base of the toy. “ _I guess I’ve always been pretty naughty because I’ve always had this little fantasy,_ ” Felix explained, holding the syringe up. “ _Of someone coming inside of me._ ”

He pushed down on the plunger of the syringe, the white liquid shooting into the tubing and into the toy’s base. Felix shuttered, rocking back on the toy. Chan tipped his head back, swearing under his breath as he gripped the base of his cock, cursing Felix for being such a little minx.

“ _Oh,_ ” Felix said, widening his eyes in pseudo-innocence, biting his lip, “ _I think I made a mess,_ ” he said, slowly lifting himself up.

The white lube dripped down out of him, catching on the ridges of the toy. It was absolutely obscene, the way it dripped from Felix’s body, stringy and slick and almost too realistic. Chan stroked himself, tighter, slower, watching the way Felix fucked himself back down, the slick, squelching almost disgusting how filthy it was.

“ _What a mess I’ve made. But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? Getting a little messy?_ ” Felix suggested, rocking back onto the toy again. He lifted himself up, reaching between his legs with his free hand, gathering some of the lube. “ _Shame, letting this all go to waste, hm?_ ” Felix teased.

His wet, sticky hand closed around his cock, almost purple with how hard it was. His moan was loud, a sound of relief as he finally got to touch his cock, stroking himself fast and with purpose, the white lube making the slide easy and pleasurable, Felix rocking back on the toy desperately.

“ _Oh fuck, fuck, so good. Feels so good, fills me up so good,_ ” Felix moaned. He looked down at his cock, dark in color between his pale legs. “ _Gotta take this off,”_ He muttered, curling his fingers around the little blue ring. “ _Oh god, oh fuck, gonna come. Shit. Gonna come as soon as this comes off, I know I will. Are you gonna come with me?_ ” He teased.

Chan already knew he was close, his tight grip on his cock the only thing stopping himself from coming. He rocked up into his hand, watching the way Felix pulled the ring slowly off of his cock, moaning all the way from the tight pressure.

He wasn’t wrong, as soon as the cockring was off, it was like someone flipped a switch. Felix arched his back, come spilling from his cock as he moaned, dribbling down the side of his hand, his body almost trembling as he rocked back against the toy in the aftershocks.

Chan didn’t last long after, coming with a choked moan. He gasped, slumped back into his pillows as he came down from his orgasm. He brought his clean hand up to his face, watching Felix come down on his laptop through the gaps in his fingers. Felix had tipped forward by now, circling his hips and gasping, Chan just knowing that he had to be overstimulating himself like that.

“ _That was fun, right?_ ” Felix giggled. “ _I had so much fun. Thanks again for all the subs, I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. See you next time._ ”

 

 **the_prince:** FELIX

 **j.one:** FELIX YOU ANSWER US RIGHT THIS MOMENT

 **memelix:** am i… in trouble???

 **the_prince:** i cannot BELIEVE you bought a bad dragon before i did

 **j.one:** you are fucking filthy

 **memelix:** that’s… my job?

 **savagemin:** i never want to see that side of you, ever again

 **memelix:** WHICH ONE OF YOU SHOWED SEUNGMIN

 **the_prince:** uhhhhhh

 **j.one:** not it

 **memelix:** great i can never look seungmin in the eye ever again

 **savagemin:** the feeling is mutual if it means anything

 

“I can’t believe Jisung is making me room with them,” Felix bemoaned, getting off the campus shuttle with Chan. He tugged his suitcase with him, his carry on oversized and overfilled on his back. He stumbled back, almost landing on his ass until Chan reached out, catching him by the arms, steadying him back on his feet. “And I won’t even have you because you suck and are moving in with them.”

“At the end of the year!” Chan said, smiling at him. Felix frowned exaggeratedly at him. “I can’t live off campus yet, not in a proper apartment until I get a job in the country. I’ll be dying in a suite style dorm all year until I graduate, don’t look so sad,” Chan told him. “What about you, where are you staying?”

“Hyunjin and Seungmin agreed to get an apartment style dorm with me,” Felix told him, Chan nodding as he tugged his own suitcase with him down the sidewalk. “I don’t know who our fourth will be because Jeongin has to live in freshman dorms until the end of the year, but I just hope it’s someone who’s not nosy,” Felix told him. Chan nodded.

Yeah, I can imagine, Chan thought.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. But my dorm is that way,” Chan said, reaching a fork in the sidewalk with Felix and pointing to the left. Felix nodded, looking over that way and then at Chan. “Lunch next week, between classes?”

“How about Saturday, so I don’t die,” Felix suggested. Chan snorted.

“Yeah, okay. Catch you later,” Chan told him. Felix set his suitcase to the side to hug him, Chan squeezing him tightly before letting him go. “I’m sure Hyunjin and Seungmin are waiting for you,” Chan told him. Felix nodded and headed the opposite direction, his suitcase trailing along behind him.

Felix came to the apartment dorms, the street relatively quiet. Most of the students had already moved in, out of country students not due in until two weeks before classes started. Felix punched in the code and checked his phone for the room Hyunjin has texted him. Felix huffed, waddling over to the elevator upon discovering the room was on the fourth floor.

The room was close to the elevator though and Felix punched in the code, looking up to read the silly little fish-shaped piece of construction paper stuck to the door with all their names. Hyunjin, Seungmin and Minho. He hummed, that must be their other roommate. Felix opened the door and stopped short seeing the living room already set up for a shoot.

“I haven’t even moved in and we’re doing this?!” Felix mock complained. Hyunjin looked up from where he had managed to attach himself to Seungmin’s back. Seungmin glanced up from the camera eyepiece, smiling at Felix. Felix dropped his suitcase, his backpack following it to the floor. “Hyunjin, I respect your dedication to the craft-”

“It’s not me,” Hyunjin interrupted him. Felix tilted his head. “You know how I said our roommate was really open-minded?” Hyunjin said with a sly smile. Felix groaned, tipping his head back. “Minho hyung! Come meet Felix!”

“I’m not done!” Minho called out.

“We’re not asking you to give him a lap dance, get out here!” Seungmin shouted. There was a loud huff and Felix turned to see a man step out of the bathroom.

He was damn pretty, with sandy brown hair, feline eyes, plump, kissable lips and a small nose. His eyes had been lined with black and he had even put on lip gloss. Felix looked down at his outfit, fishnet stockings clipped to a pair of black panties. Felix nodded, looking back up to his face.

“So you’re Felix?” Minho asked.

“That’d be me. Nice fishnets,” Felix complimented him with a smirk.

“I heard you own a bad dragon,” Minho said. Felix nodded. “Can I see it?”

“Our roommate is also a camboy? Hyunjin, where do you find these people?” Felix asked, turning to look at Hyunjin, who was still wrapped around Seungmin.

“Internet,” Seungmin said without looking up. “Jeongin will be here in 15. You ready to get back into it?” Seungmin asked, adjusting the levels.

 

“How’s the roommate?” Chan asked, munching on a fry. Felix had to choke back a laugh, picking up his drink to take a sip.

“Great. He’s great, he uh… he and Hyunjin have a lot in common,” Felix told him. Chan nodded slowly. “Did Hyunjin tell you he and Seungmin started dating over the summer?” Felix asked. Chan choked on his fry, picking up his drink to take a long sip. Felix snorted into his own food, Chan setting his drink down to look at him with wide eyes. “Yeah, I’m surprised too. He and Seungmin are so different, but I guess opposites attract. Seungmin’s kind of a shit and he’s the most savage person I know but he’s so supportive of Hyunjin and Hyunjin loves how savage Seungmin is, keeps him on his toes, y’know?”

“I don’t know how he does it,” Chan muttered.

“What do you mean?” Felix asked, stabbing his salad.

“I mean… given what Hyunjin does for a living,” Chan said. Felix paused, and then went back to pushing his salad around.

“I don’t follow. He’s an intern, you know, at that dance studio,” Felix said. Chan looked up at him and then nodded.

“Right, but he must work crazy hours, right?” Chan tried to save face. Felix bit his lower lip and nodded slowly. “I know Seungmin doesn’t work but he’s a film student, he’s always doing something, it must hard to find time to spend together,” Chan suggested.

“I guess you’re right, but they spent so much time together this summer… they’ve always spent a lot of time together, y’know,” Felix tried to pick the mood back up. But he couldn’t shake what Chan had said.

“Hey, Hyunjin,” Felix said, greeting his roommate when he got back to the apartment. Hyunjin looked up from his books at the bar. He tapped his pen against the pages while Felix came into the kitchen, leaning against the counter on the other side of the bar. “Can I ask you something?” Felix asked.

“Of course you can,” Hyunjin agreed.

“Did you ever… you filmed at Jisung’s this summer, right?” Felix asked. Hyunjin nodded. “How did that… I mean you must’ve told Changbin hyung about it, right?”

“‘Course,” Hyunjin agreed, lifting a hand to place his chin in. “He was kind of freaked out… but I think it wasn’t so much me as it was that Seungmin and Jeongin were there too,” Hyunjin explained with a little laugh, making Felix smile. “He was really cool with it though, after awhile. And I wasn’t there… like all the time, I probably only showed up once a week to do my filming. Besides, Seungmin and I started dating a week or so later.”

“You started dating that soon!” Felix exclaimed, reaching over to shove his shoulder a little, Hyunjin turning his face into his hand, giggling. “What, were Jisung and I just in the way?” Felix joked.

“No!” Hyunjin insisted, still laughing. “We just started spending more time together. Jisung was hanging out with Changbin hyung all the time, you weren’t there, I never saw Jeongin unless we were filming. Seungmin and I started hanging out. We went to the movies together, to lunch… we’d hang out at mine after we were done filming. It was really… I dunno,” Hyunjin mumbled, suddenly getting shy.

“You really like him,” Felix said. Hyunjin looked up and nodded. “Good, I’m glad.”

“Me too,” Hyunjin admitted.

They both turned when they heard the door open, the devil himself walking in. He shut the door gently and looked up, noticing them both looking at him. He narrowed his eyes a little, walking the few steps to the end of the bar, setting down his camera.

“What?” He asked, pointedly.

“We were just talking about you, is all,” Felix said.

“That doesn’t make me more nervous or anything,” Seungmin commented, mildly. He pulled his messenger bag off, walking next to the bar, Hyunjin already leaning towards him, lips pursed. Seungmin kissed him softly and then continued on his way to his bedroom. “What’re we doing for dinner?” He called out once he got there.

“Pizza?” Felix suggested.

“Yas!” Hyunjin agreed, shutting his books. “If you put olives on it, though, Minho hyung won’t eat it.”

“Get one without olives but I require olives on one of them!” Seungmin shouted.

 

“I hope you’re decent because I’m coming in!” Hyunjin shouted, leading them into the apartment. Felix rolled his eyes, following Hyunjin and Seungmin into the apartment.

“How do I erase the memory of where the spare key is from your brain?” Changbin asked, sitting on the floor at the coffee table. The table was low to the floor, black and glass with two matching ottomans. The couch was a beat up, black leather sofa and they had a single recliner, a soft looking fake suede in charcoal grey. Jisung was curled up in it, waving at them before looking back down at his computer.

The apartment was small, but it didn’t need to be very big. It was more or less a studio, the kitchen was plastered against the right wall with the big picture window taking up most of the wall space. There was a short hallway with two doors and the bed was tucked behind a screen in the opposite corner from the kitchen. There was no table other than the coffee table but that didn’t surprise Felix. The floor was half carpet, half tile and the walls were a bland beige color but there was art lined up all over the place.

“You can’t, but I promise not to come over if you’re fucking,” Hyunjin promised. Changbin reached behind himself, chucking a throw pillow.

“Hold up, was everyone getting some while I was gone?” Felix asked, setting the six pack he had brought with him down on the table. Jisung sunk a little further into the chair while Seungmin pressed his lips together in a valiant attempt at not smiling. It didn’t work out for him, but he tried. “The injustice of it all,” Felix complained.

“Shut up, Felix, you were giving it to yourself,” Minho commented, shutting the door behind himself. Changbin huffed loudly, slouching against the front of the couch.

“Hey, Hyunjin you wanna hand me that?” Felix asked, gesturing to the throw pillow he caught when Changbin threw it.

“If you’re gonna throw it at Minho hyung’s head, not really,” Hyunjin replied, climbing up onto the couch, shoving the pillow behind his back. Felix huffed, turning to glare at Minho, who casually climbed up into the recliner with Jisung, squishing him.

“Ah, someone get him off!” Jisung whined.

“You deserve it, you didn’t tell me about Felix,” Changbin said, blandly.

“I’m gonna be honest, I totally forgot you didn’t know. Sorry you had to find out this way,” Felix apologized, sitting down next to him.

“It’s okay,” Changbin sighed and then closed out his music program. “I’m sorry I freaked out when Jisung told me. I guess… I just never thought about it before. I mean, it’s not unknown that people do stuff like that to pay for college it’s just that… I never thought about you guys doing it. It’s no big deal, especially if you don’t mind it. It’s your body,” he said. Felix leaned over, Changbin hugging him tightly before letting go.

“Shit, nothing screams ‘you’re not in high school anymore’ louder than finding out that your dongsaengs charge people on the internet to watch them get off,” Changbin sighed. Felix laughed, tipping over into his side. “Alright, touchy feely time over. I thought Jeongin was coming too.”

“He is, he’s got a late philosophy lecture,” Seungmin answered. Everyone else in the room groaned loudly. “Hey, don’t blame me! His soc lecture got canceled and he needed a quick fix for the credits. And he’s not the only one who’s late, I thought Chan and Woojin hyungs were coming too.”

“Chan hyung’s still at the studio,” Jisung said, wiggling out from under Minho. “He’s working himself practically to death over his thesis. Woojin said he’d drag him over around seven after they get dinner. Sucks though because Woojin’s the one who owns the fucking movie,” Jisung huffed, crawling over to sit next to Changbin. Changbin tugged him in, Felix looking up to see Minho pouting in the recliner.

“I’m coming, hyung,” Felix said, getting to his feet. Minho brightened up as Felix settled into the recliner with him, Minho tugging him down onto his lap.

“I bet you say that to all your hyungs,” Minho quipped. Felix jabbed an elbow back, Minho groaning softly from the impact.

“That’s disgusting and I hate you,” Changbin interjected, looking over Jisung’s head at them.

“Speaking of hyungs,” Jisung started, looking at Felix.

“Were we?” Hyunjin asked, head on Seungmin’s shoulder where they were sitting on the couch.

“You never told Chan hyung, did you?” Jisung asked. It wasn’t accusatory, it was just a question, a statement of fact more than anything. Felix sighed.

“Why would I do that?” Felix replied, only a little tired of this conversation. “He doesn’t need to know and honestly, it’s just better for everyone if he doesn’t,” Felix brushed off. “And why does it matter, he doesn’t know about Hyunjin either,” Felix pointed out.

Jisung’s eyes widened and then he looked down. Hyunjin sat up a little bit on the couch while Felix leaned forward.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Hyunjin asked.

“I thought that was why you didn’t tell him,” Changbin said, turning to look at Jisung, “because he already knew about Felix?” Changbin asked.

“Tell him what?” Felix asked, feeling anxiety rise like bile in his throat.

“Lucy… you got ‘splainin’ to do,” Seungmin quipped from where he was still lying on the couch.

 

Chan and Woojin walked into the apartment, amidst yelling. Chan wasn’t sure what the yelling was about, but he was sure Jisung was the middle of it, which was not a surprise. Jisung’s ability to put his foot in his mouth was legendary. The most terrifying thing about walking into the yelling, however, was the fact that it stopped the moment Hyunjin looked at him.

“I have to go,” Hyunjin said, darting out of the room, between Chan and Woojin. Seungmin huffed and got off the couch.

“I also apparently have to go because I have to catch my boyfriend,” Seungmin told them, going for the door. “We’ll have to try again next weekend,” he said, slipping out between Chan and Woojin as well. Woojin looked twice as perplexed as Chan, looking down the hallway, looking at Chan, looking into the apartment again.

“What the hell is going on?” Woojin asked to the room at large.

“It’s all very complicated,” Minho called out to them. “I don’t know if you’re in the loop, but Chan’s like… kind of in the loop and I apparently moved into this mess so…” Minho shrugged. “But I think we’re about to-”

“I can’t be here… right now,” Felix decided.

“Lose Felix. Yep.”

Felix gathered his jacket and went for the door, Chan catching him gently by the arm.

“What’s going on?” Chan asked.

“We… have to talk. But not right now,” Felix told him. He shook his head decisively and left the room, Chan glancing back to see him go and then looking back into the room. His eyes landed on Jisung, whose own eyes were the size of dinner plates.

“Don’t look me, I don’t know a thing!” Jisung spat out and then turned and disappeared. Changbin huffed and followed him, knocking on one of the doors in their alcove.

“You cannot hide in the closet! You came out years ago!” Changbin yelled.

“Watch me!” Jisung shouted back.

“Does someone want to answer me, like a proper answer or…?” Woojin asked, coming into the room. Chan followed him in, shutting the door behind him. “I feel like I just wanted into the tail end of a kdrama and I respect the dedication Seungmin has to his film major but this is like… ridiculous,” Woojin commented, sitting down on the armrest of the couch.

“Woojin hyung,” Minho started, “do you know what a camboy is?”

“Of course I do,” Woojin replied, sounding quite nonchalant about it. Chan looked over at him as well as Changbin peering out from behind the corner of the wall. “What? I’m not an idiot. I know how to work the internet, and also I’m 22 years old, I know how porn works.”

“Great, that’s half the battle,” Minho said, obviously very pleased. “That makes it so much easier to tell you that I am one.”

“Okay, I gotta ask, does it really pay as well as people say it does? Wouldn’t stripping just be easier?” Woojin asked, not even fazed. Chan threw his hands up while Changbin leaned forward, knocking his forehead against the wood of the closet door.

“I mean you have to share the profits with the website, but it pays way better than an internship or whatever any kind of college student can get these days. With the added benefit that I make my own schedule and no one touches me except me,” Minho pointed out. Woojin nodded along, listening in a manner that Minho was, honestly, not used to. “I’m not in the business of lying to people, so if you really wanted to, I bet you could get into it.”

“Please don’t recruit my friends onto your website,” Chan begged.

“It’s not my thing. Respect for anyone who does but I just couldn’t,” Woojin admitted. “Was that question going somewhere? Sorry.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone else’s college experience is not nearly this strange,” Changbin said, turning to look at Chan, who nodded.

“Anyway,” Minho said, “I ask because, obviously, I am one and a good deal of our friends are as well. Jisung, who’s hiding in the closet, Hyunjin, who ran out of here like his jeans were on fire and…” Minho looked up, locking eyes with Chan, “Felix.”

“Everyone else I understand. Felix is kind of left field, he’s so quiet, but he is cute,” Woojin said, understandingly.

“Why don’t you look surprised, Chan hyung?” Minho asked, smirking at him. Changbin eyed Chan, who turned and looked at the wall, Jisung opening the door a crack to look as well. “It’s a bomb, isn’t it? Learning that Felix is a camboy, but you don’t look surprised. You look…” Minho leaned back into the recliner, “you look nervous.”

“What would I be nervous about?” Chan replied, turning back to look at him. “Of course it’s a bomb, I mean Felix is…”

“Felix is cute, right?” Minho prompted. “You know that. And I know why you’re not surprised, it’s because you already knew,” Minho pointed out. Chan crossed his arms over his chest, glaring him down. “If you didn’t, you’d be confused, maybe a little upset but you’re nervous. The only person you’re mad at right now is me and maybe yourself.”

“How would I have known?”

“You’ve seen his channel.”

Chan’s eyes downcast immediately and Jisung stepped out of the closet.

“Hyung-”

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Chan admitted. “I was just… scrolling around on the website. The icon was familiar, it looked… I never meant for this to happen.”

“Hyung,” Jisung started. “I don’t care that you found his channel. I don’t care if you even watched it, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you knew and you didn’t tell Felix.”

“Tell Felix what, Jisung?” Chan asked. “That I watched his camboy channel. That I found something he clearly didn’t want me to and I looked anyway? He’d hate me,” Chan pointed out. Jisung sighed. “He didn’t tell me, not when we talked about you, not when I told him that you asked me about the studio, he didn’t want me to know.”

“Because he was scared,” Jisung told him. “Look, you might not get it but… it’s scary, telling anyone. You don’t know what they’re going to say, how they’re going to react. And you were going home, you were going back to Australia. Felix’s biggest fear is his parents finding out,” Jisung said. “I know you’re not like that, you wouldn’t do that but imagine how Felix felt.”

“It’s not about you knowing, it’s about what you’re gonna think of him if you do.”

 

Felix turned over in bed, groaning deeply. It was Thursday, he was supposed to film today. He did not want to film. He wanted to lie in bed, hidden under his covers, until he had to drag himself out to his lectures tomorrow. He didn’t even want to think about his channel for the foreseeable future, he wanted to pretend he was a normal college student without any sort of adult responsibilities or dirty secrets he had to keep hidden.

The knock on his door was around noon. He had already shut his messenger app on mute for the day, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jisung and even Jeongin had been reminding him about his channel. About his upload schedule, that it was dangerous to miss even a single week. Felix didn’t even care anymore so he got up from his bed, ready to give whoever was on the other side of the door a piece of his mind.

“Hey,” Chan greeted him. Felix sighed and stepped back. “You said you wanted to talk. Thought we should do that.”

“Yeah, okay,” Felix agreed, stepping out of his way. “Come in.”

Chan walked in, surveying the room. It wasn’t a very big room, but it was comfortable. Felix had left his bed on the floor, the head up against the window and the desk facing his bed. It left a walking area right in front of the door and Chan glanced over to his desk, noticing the miniature tripod stand on the desk.

“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Felix said, closing the door.

“Alright,” Chan agreed, sitting on the edge of Felix’s bed, looking at him. Felix leaned against the wall adjacent to the door.

“You said something… at lunch, a couple of weeks ago,” Felix started. Chan nodded. “Something about Hyunjin. And I just… I have to know,” Felix said. Chan nodded again, his fingers curling over the edge of Felix’s mattress. “You know, don’t you? About Hyunjin’s real job?”

“Yeah.”

Felix breathed out a slow breath. So Chan did know, he just didn’t say anything. Felix wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

“Felix, I have to tell you something,” Chan said. “And you’re gonna be mad and I understand but I just… I have to tell you the truth.”

“What is it?”

“I know… about you, too.”

Felix tipped his head back, knocking it gently against the wall. He closed his eyes, worried he wouldn’t be able to stop them from tearing up if they were open. Of course Chan knew, of course he did. In retrospect, Felix figured it was only just a matter of time. Secrets only stayed secrets for so long.

“Felix,” Chan said softly, “I need you to know, Jisung didn’t tell me.” Felix lowered his head, looking at Chan, who had an iron grip on the edge of his mattress, his eyes screwed shut. “I found out… because I found your channel.”

“Did you watch it?”

“Felix-”

“Did you?”

“Yeah.”

His admission sparked something in Felix, something mean, something spiteful. He felt hurt, betrayed, and he wasn’t going to let Chan get away from this conversation not feeling that way. Felix would never have called himself a mean spirited person but he felt like he wasn’t himself anymore.

“Did you get off?”

“What?” Chan asked, looking up. Felix pushed off from the wall, walking towards him.

“Did you. Get off,” Felix repeated himself, slower this time. “Be honest, hyung. Did I turn you on?” He asked, standing in front of him. He lowered himself to his knees and he heard Chan’s breath catch. “Did you get hard? Do you still think of me when you touch yourself, when you want to get off? Think about what I looked like? What was your favorite video, I’m curious.”

“Felix, don’t do this,” Chan told him. He went to stand up but Felix wasn’t done, closed his hands around Chan’s knees, causing Chan to stumble back into sitting on Felix’s bed.

“Do what? This is what you want, isn’t it? What you fantasize about?” Felix continued, his hands sliding up Chan’s thighs. Chan knew what Felix was doing but he felt like he couldn’t move, he was trapped under Felix’s bedroom-eyed gaze. “But you’re just like the others, aren’t you? You’d prefer me under you, wouldn’t you?”

“No, that’s not- Felix-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, hyung, I get it,” Felix kept on, gently spreading Chan’s legs to get between them. “It’s what everyone who watches me wants. I get those comments all the time, I’m so pretty, I’m so flexible, I bet I take cock so good-”

“Felix, stop-”

“That’s all I’m good for, right?” Felix said, his voice finally betraying him. “A pretty little toy, someone to fuck, a fantasy for you to to get off to?” He swallowed, but he could feel the lump in his throat, hear the way his voice was breaking. “Is that what you were waiting for, for me to get tired of the toys, look for something real? Well, I’m right here, why don’t you give it to me?”

“That is not what I want, Felix,” Chan said, lifting a hand to his cheek. Felix turned away from his touch but Chan was persistent and Felix felt his thumb brush over his cheek. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt Chan wipe the tear away. “I didn’t come here looking to fuck you.”

“Why not?” Felix asked, his voice sharp. “Everyone else wants to. Or do you not want something used?”

“That’s not what you are, don’t say that,” Chan told him. “This isn’t why I came here. I came here because I had to be honest with you, I couldn’t keep lying. Yes, I watched your videos. Yes, I got off. I’m not gonna lie about that, but I didn’t come here and tell you the truth because I wanted something. I came here because you’re my friend and that’s more important than anything else,” Chan explained, fiercely.

“Can you go? Please?” Felix asked, voice soft, shuffling backward.

Chan stood up, Felix curling up on the floor. Chan couldn’t even bring himself to turn and look back at Felix, he was sure it would just break his heart.

The next night, Chan got another email notification. He looked at it and then sighed. After all of this and he still hadn’t unsubbed and deleted his account yet. The website was still telling him when Felix uploaded a new video.

The wound was still so fresh, he felt like he was just pouring salt into it if he looked. But he… he wanted to know. He had to know. It was a twisted obsession that he had, needing to know what Felix was doing, how he was doing it.

_He didn’t hurt himself this time, did he?_

Chan didn’t even think about it the moment the thought popped into his head, he clicked the link.

“ _Welcome back to my channel,_ ” Felix said. He was sitting on his bed. Chan knew it was his bed because he had been sitting on the edge of that bed, looked at that exact window, made a mental note of that exact set up just over 24 hours before.

Felix didn’t look or sound out of the ordinary. He was wearing an oversized white sweater, his hair was a little bit messed up, falling artfully into his lightly lined eyes, the lids of which were coated with a shimmery white shadow. He looked just as gorgeous as he ever did, the sun coming through the drawn curtained window right behind him, making him glow.

“ _Today I decided I wanted to be a little naughty, a little dangerous, maybe?_ ” Felix said. He lifted a hand, toying with the neckline of the sweater, which Chan noticed was a turtleneck. “ _I had a couple of special things just lying around, hadn’t pulled them out yet. Thought it’d be fun to try them out for the first time,_ ” Felix suggested.

His grasped the hem of his sweater and pulled it off in one movement, revealing what he was wearing underneath. Chan swallowed, willing his body to not betray him.

Felix was wearing a white body harness that looped halter style around the back of his neck, straps crossing just under his collarbones. It framed his pecks, a strap pulled tight under them in an imitation of a bust line. The bottom half wrapped around his waist, straps extending from the waist strap to cross just above his crotch and down to create Xs with circle rings on his thighs, the straps on the lower half of the Xs clipped to garter like straps. His hand dragged from the garter straps, up his body, over his chest and to his neck where Chan’s mouth dropped open without his permission.

Around his slim neck was a clear, plastic collar with a shiny, silver D ring at the front. He hooked his finger through the ring and tugged gently, gasping softly. The noise was enough to send a hot spike of arousal through Chan’s stomach, the heel of his hand coming down on his clothed dick to try and quell it.

“ _What do you think? Pretty, hm? It’s too bad, I can’t wear any of my panties with it,”_ Felix sighed, his hand sliding back down his body. His fingers closed around his half hard cock, tugging gently. He moaned, his back arching a little bit. He gasped deeply, looking into the camera with wide eyes.

“ _I got so excited about this collar, I wanted to play with something else clear tonight, too,_ ” Felix said with a little smirk. Felix let go of himself and turned around on his knees, dropping down to his elbows. Without panties in the way, it was made abundantly clear what he was talking about.

The base of the toy was pressed right up against his rim and the clear material showed exactly that. Felix reached behind himself, tugging gently on the end of it. He moaned as he pulled, the toy slowly sliding out of his body. It was glass, with large, circular beads. Chan was starting to think that was one of Felix’s favorite features in toys.

“ _Oh fuck,_ ” Felix moaned, pulling it halfway out and then slowly pushing it back in. “ _Isn’t it nice, it’s so long and thick, stretches me out so good. And I love that it’s glass, it feels so good. And since it’s clear, you can watch too"_

Watch was exactly right, the glass warping the view of his body but not hiding the way it pulled the toy in bead by wide bead until it was seated right up against his rim again. He didn’t rush, he was slow, methodical about it and Chan wondered if it was because he was being careful or because he was being a tease.

Chan didn’t know how long he watched Felix slowly fuck himself with the glass dildo, the way he pulled the plug out almost all the way just to push it all the way back in. Felix rocked back onto it, almost trembling with pleasure as he moaned, gasping about how good it felt, how full it filled him, how wide it stretched him.

“ _Fuck, it feels so good,_ ” He moaned. Pushing it all the way back in with a particularly hard thrust, he gasped sharply and then moaned lowly.

Rolling over, he laid down on his back, feet flat on the bed, showing himself off to the camera. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and smiled at the camera. One of his hands slowly crept down his body until his fingers curled around his cock again. He threw his head back as he moaned, stroking himself steady and slow, his hips leaving the bed to fuck up into his hand.

“ _God, it feels so good. My cock’s so hard, I want it. I want to come so bad, come so hard on this thick, long cock inside of me. Makes me feel so good, fucking me so deep._ ”

Felix was never usually that dirty when he was talking. He talked about his fantasies, talked about how good he felt, how close he was to coming but he never talked like that. It was filthy, it was obscene, the way he babbled about getting fucked. He had never referred to something inside of him as a cock before, never implied anything about someone fucking him.

“ _Fucks me so deep, so full, stretches me so wide. Fuck, I love it, love being fucked like this. Wanna come, come just like this, come on this hard cock. I’m gonna make myself come so good,_ ” he moaned. “ _Yeah, come so good, so hard on this thick cock, hard cock, fucking me so deep._ ”

When his moans trailed off into uncontrollable gasps, little whines, Chan knew he was close. Felix was still fucking up into his fist and then grinding back down on the plug inside of him, stimulating himself from both ends so hard, he wasn’t going to last long.

“ _Fuck, fuck, yes, yes!_ ” Felix gasped, coming. Come splattered onto his stomach, dribbled down the sides of his cock, over his fingers. He panted, tugging at his cock slowly, the camera catching the slow, continuous stream of come dripping from his cock. He continued until he was gasping again, arching up into the painful pleasure of over stimulating himself.

“ _It’s too bad I can’t come again, I could do this all night,_ ” he teased. He pushed himself into a sitting position, reaching between his legs to pull the plug out. He gasped a moan, freeing the plug from inside of him. He held the four-tiered dildo up to the camera for a moment before resting it against his lower lip, sticking his tongue out to lick the glass.

“ _Thanks for coming, I’ll see you in my next video._ ”

Chan came that night to the image of Felix in that white harness. Not fucking himself with the glass plug, not groping himself to over stimulation, not tugging on that D ring of the clear, plastic collar, the white full body harness. The way it wrapped around his petite figure, the way he dragged his hand up over his body, touching the straps gently. He stroked himself to the thought of Felix on white sheets, wearing that harness and smiling at him. Not smirking, not the bedroom eyes he gave the camera, smiling at Chan coyly from under the sheets.

Chan moaned Felix’s name into his pillow to the idea of Felix wanting him.

 

“Is he dead?” Minho asked, setting his books down on the bar. Hyunjin sighed, looking at the door to Felix’s room. It hadn’t opened all weekend, he hadn’t even left his room to go to his classes on Friday. Hyunjin was worried, of course, but he didn’t know how to make Felix feel better. “I hope not, I don’t want collect his body,” Minho added, catching Hyunjin’s attention again.

“He posted on Friday,” Seungmin said mildly from the couch. Hyunjin looked across the room at his boyfriend, Jeongin lying down across the couch, feet at the end, Seungmin’s laptop resting on his shins. “I checked just to see if he skipped, maybe posted a notice about it… he didn’t. It was a new video.”

“Did it have any new tags on it?” Minho asked, turning around on the bar stool.

“Harness. Collar. Soft Bondage. Glass.”

“He really pulled out all the stops, huh,” Jeongin commented. “Are you sure we shouldn’t check on him?” Jeongin asked, looking over at Hyunjin and Minho. Minho looked over at Hyunjin, Hyunjin resting his elbow on the counter, putting his chin in his hand. “That’s not like Felix, Felix is chocolate on a good day. Why is he being softcore BDSM all of a sudden?”

“Chan stopped by on Thursday,” Hyunjin said softly. Minho turned back to look at him. Seungmin closed his laptop and shoved Jeongin’s legs off of him. Jeongin yelled in reply, almost tumbling off the couch. Seungmin paid him no mind as he crossed the living room to lean against the bar with Minho. Minho rested his arms on the bar, Hyunjin suddenly having their full attention.

“What happened?” Seungmin asked.

“I dunno. He was here for… twenty minutes maybe. But he looked freaked out when I saw him leave,” Hyunjin told them. “I don’t know what Felix did but Chan looked really unsettled. After this past week, God knows how that conversation could’ve gone.”

Minho knocked on Felix’s bedroom door late Sunday night. There wasn’t even a noise of acknowledgment on the other side. Minho sighed and tried the handle, finding it unlocked. He peered in the room, finding the lamp on the desk on but nothing else, and an unmoving mass under the duvet. Minho sighed through his nose and stepped into the room, gently closing the door behind himself.

“Felix?” Minho said, softly.

There was a low noise of acknowledgment but other than that, nothing. Minho crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He reached out, gently patting him. He wasn’t sure what he was patting, but he patted Felix gently none-the-less. The mass moved slightly, blond hair sticking out a little at the top.

“Leave me here to die.”

“I don’t want to be the one to call the police to collect your body, so I can’t do that,” Minho told him. Felix groaned, sitting up in the bed. “Scoot over,” Minho told him, Felix shifting over slightly to let Minho climb into the bed with him. Minho slipped under the covers with him, lying down and pulling the covers over their heads. Felix scooted back down, lying his head down on the mattress. “Alright, talk.”

“I fucked up. What else can I say?” Felix asked.

“Well, we all fuck up. I fuck up all the time, that’s life. That’s college life, especially. No matter what you think, you didn’t fuck up as badly as you think you did. I promise,” Minho assured him. “Hyunjin said Chan dropped by, what happened?” Minho asked, gently reaching over to brush Felix’s hair away from his face.

“I said a bunch of stupid things that I didn’t mean,” Felix admitted.

“Oh this oughta be good,” Minho replied with a little smirk. Felix sighed, putting his face in his hands.

“I asked him… if he watched the videos,” Felix admitted. Minho nodded, humming. “And then I got… mean. I got spiteful. I asked him if he liked it.” Minho hummed again, a smile starting on his lips. “I asked him if he still thought about me when he touched himself, I asked him what his favorite video was.”

“Did he tell you?” Minho asked, and he sounded genuinely curious, which got a smile out of Felix, who finally dropped his hands from his face.

“No. I was, uhm… on my knees, in front of him, at this point.”

“I bet he looks great from that angle,” Minho said. Felix laughed.

“He does. I won’t lie to you.” Minho laughed loudly. “I wouldn’t even let him speak, I insisted it was what he wanted, what he fantasized about. Me. Under him.” Minho hummed, his smile softer. “It was like I didn’t have an off switch, I wouldn’t shut up. I told him it was what everyone wants from me, what everyone thinks about me.”

“I asked him if that was why he told me the truth. Because he wanted me, because he saw the way I would fuck myself on those toys and he wanted to give me the real thing,” Felix admitted, looking disappointed in himself, unhappy, upset. Minho gently ran a hair through his hair. “When he said he didn’t come here for that, I said the stupidest… the worst thing I could’ve said and it was about me.” Felix pinched his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again. “I said why not? Do you not want something used?”

“Felix, that’s not what you are. You know that, right?” Minho asked, voice soft. Felix nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat again. For the past three days, it was all he could feel, that sharp, uncomfortable lump in his throat that told him he could start crying at any moment. “You are not used, you are not dirty. What you do, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I know that,” Felix admitted. Minho brushed his thumb gently across Felix’s cheek. “I know what I’m worth. I just… I was upset. I was so… mad, and hurt, and I said things I didn’t mean.”

“I know,” Minho agreed. “I know what that feels like. I did the same thing when I found out my boyfriend watched my channel.” Felix blinked hard and then looked at Minho. “When I told him what I did, I was so scared. When I started, I was terrified he would tell people. That it would ruin my reputation, what people would think of me. He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone, but he watched my videos.”

“How mad were you?" 

“I was pissed,” Minho admitted with a little smile. “I lost it. He told me after weeks of watching what he did and I did the same thing you did. Is that how you see me? Is that all I’m good for? Did you tell me just so you can get what you want from me? It was a fucking mess, I must’ve sounded like I was out of my mind.”

“You must’ve worked it out,” Felix said.

“Yeah, after not speaking to him for a week,” Minho told him, making Felix laugh softly. “We weren’t dating at the time, we just had the same dance classes. But we were… best friends. He came up to me after I chewed him out and said, I’m gonna tell you why I watched your videos.”

“Why did he?”

“Curiosity, mostly,” Minho said, smiling widely. Felix smacked him in the chest.

“Hyung.”

“And,” Minho amended, “he thought it was the only way he would get me. It’s a pretty embarrassing thing to admit so I’m surprised he said it,” Minho admitted, making Felix snort. “He said he always cared about me but he didn’t know how to tell me. It’s juvenile but I think some people think that we’re not… human, in some ways. Like we’re never gonna be satisfied with someone, we’re always gonna want something different, something better. But it’s just not true.”

“I know that,” Felix told him.

“I know you do, but… Chan doesn’t,” Minho pointed out, getting a sigh from Felix. “Look at Hyunjin and Seungmin, Jisung and Changbin. Jisung posted a video last week wearing a prostate massager and a harness,” Minho pointed out, Felix snorting right into giggles. “Hyunjin wore pink thigh highs, a matching leather body harness and fucked himself with a dildo until he came untouched. They do stupid, filthy things all the time but it doesn’t matter because the only people they have eyes for, is Changbin and Seungmin. And they know that. Jeongguk knows that it doesn’t matter what depraved things I put on the internet, the only person who gets to touch me is him. That’s all that matters.”

“Maybe you need to explain that to Chan hyung.”

“As if Chan hyung would even want to speak to me anymore after what I did,” Felix mumbled.

“He will. He watched you for a reason, Felix,” Minho reminded him. “Even if you wouldn’t let him tell you, he does have one. And you should ask him. I think you’ll get the answers you’re looking for if you do.”

 

“Is Chan in?” Felix asked. Woojin hummed, glancing back into the room. Chan hadn’t moved from where he was sitting on his bed, headphones in, eyes only for the work he was doing on his laptop. “It’s okay if you tell me no, I understand,” Felix told him. Woojin looked back at him.

“Yeah, he’s in. I gotta head out to my lecture anyway,” Woojin told him. “Try to be nice to him this time?” Woojin joked lightly. Felix breathed a soft laugh.

“That’s the plan.”

Woojin nodded to the dorm, Felix walking in behind him. Chan didn’t even look up, Woojin grabbing his stuff and then heading out. Woojin shut the door gently behind himself leaving Felix standing near the edge of the room with an oblivious Chan. Felix sighed softly and approached the edge of his bed.

“Hey,” Felix said, softly, touching Chan’s knee. His eyes darted up and he gasped, jumping a bit. Felix laughed despite himself, Chan pulling off his oversized headband headphones to rest them around his neck. Chan pressed a hand against his chest, gasping for a moment

“You scared the shit out of me,” Chan told him.

“Maybe you should be more vigilant,” Felix teased, gently.

“This is my room!” Chan pointed out. Felix laughed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Chan sighed, laughing softly as he set his laptop and headphone to the side. “Woojin let you in, huh?” Chan asked, settling himself up against the headboard of the bed. “Sorry, I was working on my thesis.”

“How is it going?” Felix asked. He couldn’t help himself, he knew how worried Chan was about it. He still had months and months until it was due but Chan was a perfectionist.

“Good, Changbin listened to one of my rough versions, said it sounded good,” Chan told him. “What’s up?” He asked, biting nervously at his lower lip.

“I’m sorry,” Felix started. “What I did, it wasn’t fair of me. I know that’s not why you came over to talk to me and… I don’t know what came over me.” He swallowed, looking down at his lap. “I know you’re not like that I just… I was so upset, I didn’t even think. I took it out on you.”

“Don’t apologize,” Chan replied. Felix looked back up at him. “I get it. I don’t know what I would do if I was in your position. You had every right.”

“But not to be mean about it,” Felix admitted. He huffed a sigh and looked back at the floor. “But I have to ask you something, and I promise I won’t go off this time.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“Why?” Felix asked, looked at Chan again. Chan looked down and away from him. “Why did you watch? I just have to know.”

“I…” Chan started and then cleared his throat. “I wanted to know what you were like. And I don’t mean… it’s not about the fantasy,” Chan insisted. “It’s about… you. I know you, Felix, but… this wasn’t a side of you I’d ever seen. You were different.” Felix nodded. “Felix, I’ve known you for over a year. You’re sweet and kind and polite and funny and talented and… anyone who meets you knows those things about you. But you, the you on your channel, I wanted to know them.”

“What about them?” Felix sighed. “There’s nothing to know about them.”

“That’s not true. Online you’re… you’re sexy,” Chan admitted and Felix looked up at him with a small smile. “I’m serious,” Chan told him, smiling at him. “You’re sexy and you’re confident and you know what people watch you for but that’s the point. You know what they want so you’re not just… giving it to them. You’re a tease.”

Felix laughed, the sound bursting out of him, almost by surprise. Chan crawled down the bed to sit next to him, tugging him gently into his side by his arm. Felix let him, leaning his head on Chan’s shoulder.

“It was weird, at first, to try and make both versions of you coexist as someone I knew you to be. But the fact is, we all have those sides to us. And knowing that about you… it made me like you more,” Chan admitted. “I wanted to know… more about you. And then I… I guess, used your channel as a substitute for you.” Felix looked up at him but Chan wasn’t looking at him. “I was too far down the rabbit hole, I couldn’t tell you the truth, no matter how much I liked you.”

“Did you want me?” Felix asked.

“More than you know,” Chan confessed. “But not… not like that. I was greedy and I wanted all of you. I guess I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Felix, I can’t lie to you anymore,” Chan told him. He pulled away from Felix and took hold of one of his hands. “I want you just the way you think I do, no matter how ashamed of it I am. I do want you underneath me, I want to listen to you moan just for me, and that doesn’t make me any better than any of your viewers and I know that,” Chan admitted, and he looked pained to do so. “But at the end of the night, I want you to sleep in my bed with me, I want to kiss you breathless and tell you how gorgeous you are, because you are. Not because I want something from you. And I want to wake up next to you and kiss you good morning and go to breakfast with you. And I want to keep having our weekly lunches and I want to kiss you in front of people, especially Jisung and Changbin because we would absolutely be so much cuter than they are,” Chan insisted, smiling, making Felix laugh. “I want you… every way. No matter what.”

“If you had just asked,” Felix said, “I would’ve said yes.”

“I’m not much,” Chan told him.

“You don’t get it,” Felix replied. “You are. People think people like me have this… insatiable appetite but it’s not true. All I want, is someone who wants me for more than just what I am online. And you do. And it doesn’t matter who comes up to me, it doesn’t matter what I put on the internet because none of those people are you,” Felix explained. “I only have eyes for you, don’t you see that?”

“I do now.”

 

**j.one added cb97 and spearb to the chat**

**the_prince:** our chat!!!

 **savagemin:** it’s been tainted!!!

 **memelix:** two can play that game

**memelix added lee_know and jeong_i.n to the chat**

**savagemin:** nothing is sacred anymore

 **j.one:** was it ever?

 **cb97:** i didn’t ask for this

 **lee_know:** so this is where you guys do all your planning and secret stuff

 **the_prince:** “secret stuff”

 **memelix:** yeah this is where we ask to borrow each other’s toys and set up our shoot times

 **spearb:** so much more than i ever needed to know

 **jeong_i.n:** i still think the borrowing of each other’s toys is unsanitary

 **j.one:** IT’S NOT LIKE WE DON’T CLEAN THEM

 **jeong_i.n:** THEY WERE INSIDE SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY

 **lee_know:** it’s so cute that you don’t even know how sex works

 **jeong_i.n:** bye

**cb97 added uwujin to the chat**

**uwujin** : i said no

 **cb97:** pls i’m desperate

 **spearb:** this is your penance

 **cb97:** for what

 **memelix:** for dating me i assume

 **spearb:** I DIDN’T SAY THAT

 **savagemin:** it’s okay this is my penance too

 **the_prince:** dating me is a gift

 **savagemin:** debatable

 **uwujin:** oof

 

Chan opened his eyes, blinked a couple times to get used to the light streaming in from the window. His eyes landed on Felix immediately, the way he was turned halfway onto his stomach, half of his face buried in the pillow, his blond hair a fluffy mess of bed head. Chan reached out to him, his hand finding his slim hips, tugging him towards him.

Felix groaned but didn’t pull away, letting himself he be tugged towards Chan. Chan lifted his hand to his face, brushing the stray strands away from his face and gently brushing his fingers against his cheek. Felix didn’t even open his eyes but he hummed, stretching out in the blankets and settling more comfortably into the mattress. Chan smiled, letting his thumb stray to his mouth, stroking gently along his lower lip.

“Channie,” Felix mumbled. His voice was impossibly deeper and rougher like this, not even awake all the way, gravely from disuse. Chan let his hand trail down his face, along his neck, causing Felix to tilt his head, letting Chan touch more of him.

His sleep shirt was loose in the neck and Chan’s fingers smoothed along the bump of his collarbone, his shoulder, down his chest and his stomach, catching at the rucked up hem of his shirt. Felix was so sensitive like this, Chan couldn’t help himself, letting his hand slide under the shirt to touch along his soft skin. Felix moaned at the sensation, arching up into the touch.

“Feel good, baby?” He whispered, leaning in to kiss his cheek, along his jaw. Felix hummed, Chan pulling back to see him finally open his eyes.

“What’re you doing?” He asked, voice soft and a smile beginning along his lips.

“What I can’t stop thinking about,” Chan told him. He shifted up to sit next to Felix, and then down his body. Felix leaned back into the pillows, feeling Chan’s hands slide down his body.

Down his stomach, trailing his fingers against the sensitive skin, to the waistband of his boxers. Chan gently kissed his stomach, let his fingers drag along the waistband of his boxers before cupping him, half hard with morning wood, over his clothes. Felix arched up into the attention, Chan smiling as he palmed him through his boxers, his free hand sliding over his thigh, carefully spreading his legs for Chan to sit between.

Chan only teased him for a little while. He enjoyed the little whining moans Felix was letting out, looking for friction, but he wanted to please his boyfriend. He pulled down the waistband of his boxers, finally getting to look at Felix’s cock.

Long, average thickness, pink at the tip, and Chan curled his fingers around him, stroking slowly. Felix moaned for him, Chan looking up to watch him writhe against the sheets. Felix was already flushed in the cheeks and he looked down at Chan with desperate, glazed eyes and Chan couldn’t imagine a better thing to start his day looking at.

He was fully hard now, and Chan took his sweet time jerking him off, watching Felix arch, throw an arm over his face, a hand running through his hair. Felix was gorgeous, already looking desperate for release, overwhelmed with arousal. Chan could feel himself getting hard, just watching Felix wiggle around, listening to him moan. God, he could listen to him all day.

“Hyung, please,” Felix whined. “I want-”

“What do you want, baby?”

“Faster, please. I want it faster, it feels so good,” he moaned and Chan was nothing if not willing to please him, stroking him with longer, faster strokes, Felix practically choking on a moan. “Oh, God, Channie. It feels so good, fuck,” he swore and that was the least of what Chan wanted to hear.

“Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what you want from me,” Chan said. “What do you think about when I touch you?” He asked.

“Channie-”

“Tell me, Lixie,” Chan insisted.

“You- oh fuck. I… sometimes I think about your mouth,” Felix confessed and Chan smiled, giving him a particularly rough stroke as reward. “Oh god, yes.” Chan pulled back, admired the way Felix was already leaking precum, used his fingers to spread it down his cock. “Oh my God, Channie.”

“What about my mouth, baby?”

“I…” he moaned soft and slow, arching up into Chan’s hand. “I think about you blowing me. I think about it a lot, your mouth around my cock,” he admitted and even though he was spread out on his own bed, his cock in his boyfriend’s hand, he flushed bright red. Chan leaned down, kissing his hip, rubbing a soft circle into his hip bone with his thumb. “Sometimes… sometimes I think about what it would feel like, to have you eat me out.”

“Oh baby, I want that too,” Chan admitted, steadying out his strokes again. “I bet you taste so good. What else?”

“Fuck, Channie, I want you to fuck me,” Felix told him, finally meeting his eyes again. Chan smiled. “I really, really want you to fuck me. I want you to make me feel so good, fill me up so full, so deep. Hyung, I fucking want you so bad.”

“I know you do, baby,” Chan told him, looking back down at his cock. “Look at how hard you are for me, you’re so wet too,” he mentioned, smirking at him. Felix moaned, throwing his head back. “That’s my good boy. You want to come for me, baby?”

“Yes. Yes, I wanna come for you, Channie. I wanna come so bad,” he gasped. “Please make me come, please I wanna come for you, just you, hyung.”

Chan stroked him harder, faster, Felix’s hips leaving the bed as he fucked up into Chan’s hand. Chan moved to sit up on his knees, straddling Felix’s thighs and lean over him. He kissed along Felix’s neck, heard the desperate gasps and whines he was letting out so much clearer. He kissed Felix’s jaw, his cheek, finally catching his lips, muffling Felix’s moans.

Felix was pliant and willing, letting Chan kiss him deep, lick into his mouth and bite his lips. Felix finally let go of the sheets, lifting a hand to Chan’s sweater, clutching desperately at the back of it as he humped up into Chan’s hand.

“Come for me, baby, let me hear you come for me,” he whispered into his ear.

Felix didn’t need any more convincing, his gasps cutting off sharply as he came, splattering his stomach, Chan’s sweater, and all over Chan’s hand. Chan glanced down, and then back up, Felix’s eyes having closed and his chest heaving as he panted from his orgasm. Chan kissed him again, Felix finally kissing him back, letting go of the back of Chan’s sweater to hold onto his jaw, kissing him deeply, sweetly.

“Sorry,” Felix apologized into his lips.

“I don’t mind,” Chan told him.

“Now come here,” Felix insisted, his other hand dropping to Chan’s waist.

“Not right now,” Chan told him. Felix pulled back with a whine. “Baby, don’t act like you’re in any position to give back, you are so out of it. Maybe later.”

“Sit on my face,” Felix said and Chan took a moment to actually consider it, with the way Felix was looking at him.

“No.”

“Unfair.”

That, however, didn’t stop Felix from blowing Chan an hour later, making them at least 15 minutes late for their second attempt at group movie time. Chan would say he regretted it, but that would make him a liar.

“I don’t want to know why you’re late, just know that you’re late and you missed the opening credits already,” Changbin said when Chan and Felix inevitably showed up. Chan scooted around the back of the couch, going to set down the six pack while Felix threw himself onto the couch next to where Hyunjin and Seungmin were cuddling, Hyunjin’s head on Seungmin’s chest.

“I can’t believe you started without us,” Felix insisted.

“I can’t believe we had to reschedule our movie time and you guys are still late,” Minho replied. “I even brought my boyfriend and everything! You should be ashamed of yourselves,” Minho scolded them, Jeongguk looking mildly embarrassed but mostly extremely endeared by Minho. “I hope it was worth it.”

“It was,” Chan replied, getting himself a drink. He climbed up into the sofa with Felix, pulling his boyfriend into his lap, Felix settling against his chest.

“Disgusting,” Jeongin commented from the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have words for what this fic is. it's almost 24k of gratuitous smut, some feelings and it was all written on a whim so you're welcome and also i'm sorry
> 
> as far as i'm concerned, if i'm going to hell, you're all coming with me <3
> 
> UPDATE: if you're disappointed by the lack of other cam scenes, i have great news for you: [i am trash](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18453665/chapters/43718762)


End file.
